Except for a brief period of time in high school and right after I graduated from college, I have always been just a little bit fat. Yeah, I called myself fat. It's my blog, I can do what I want! Anyway, I'm still convinced that my birth weight of 5 lbs., 6 oz. is a lie. How could someone born that small turn out to be so big? Well, ever heard of a place called Wendy's? Yeah, I'm blaming Dave Thomas on this one.
I absolutely love the above named fast-food restaurant. In my opinion, the best burgers around. When I was little, I remember watching TV and loving all of the Wendy's commercials. Dave seemed like an all-around swell guy who just so happened to make tasty food. Plus, I thought it was so cool he named the chain after one of his daughters. I secretly wished my own dad would pay homage to me in some similar fashion. I'm still waiting on that wish to come true! Anyway, I developed my love for all things greasy before I finished elementary school. I think you can see where this story is heading...
This isn't the part when I want anyone to feel sorry for me. Believe me, I knew what I was doing. I ate my emotions at all times and they always tasted great! At any rate, I caught on at a pretty early age how I could make this work in my favor...if people thought I was funny, maybe they would forget my ass was the size of two bowling balls. So, I started to tell jokes. I would make them up and laugh out loud before presenting them to my family. They weren't funny. But, I think my parents laughed to humor me. Gee, people were laughing...I've gotta find some way to take this show outside my house. So, over the next several years, I spend many hours making fun of myself. For a long time, I fooled myself into thinking it actually worked.
I've learned something over the last year. No matter how hard I try to act like the clown, it doesn't solve the real issue. I've haven't really thought so highly of myself over the last few years. I've never really set the standard for how people should be treating me...with respect. Up until this point, I've tried to change in the hopes that people would like me...doing whatever it took to make that possible. EPIC FAIL! If you have to change to please someone, then you might as well forget it. Losing weight for the umpteenth time has made me realize that I should NEVER have to change to please anyone...to some, this might be an oxymoron. To me, it makes sense. Now, I'm changing for ME. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to walk into any store and not worry about having to find the plus-size section. I want someone to finally give a damn about me because I am a nice, funny, smart and pretty person, but not because I've lost weight.
There are too many people in this world who are so focused on what a person looks like that they miss out on some really great people, including me. I now realize something...IT'S THEIR LOSS!! If you don't like me because I'm not a size six, then you obviously aren't worth MY time. I've ignored my fair share, too, because of my weight. However, it took me finally taking control of my waistline to realize all of this...I AM ENOUGH!!!
I don't have all the answers. I'm just a girl who's trying to make it in this crazy thing I call life. I screw up on a daily basis. I'm much too hard on myself. I don't have all the answers. What I do have is an amazing support system and that's what keeps me going...NEVER GIVE UP!!
The only person I'm ever striving to be better than is the person I was yesterday...so far, so good!!
Confidence is key, no matter the situation...if you believe you've got "IT", so will everyone else!! :)
