A few weeks ago, I bought a book. I'm not much of a reader, although I do enjoy reading what I call "fluff" books on occasion. At any rate, a title struck my fancy, so I grabbed the book and threw it in my cart. The name of the book is "Act like a lady, think like a man". I'll have to admit, I was a little embarrassed to scan this item by the nice Walmart worker. So, I used the self-checkout. After getting home, I quickly opened the book and started reading. I had a small amount of time to kill, so I decided to read at least the first chapter. I started laughing at the thought of even reading such a book. After all, I figured I already knew how men thought, so why did I need to waste time reading something Steven Harvey wrote. Granted, he's a very funny comedian, but I had a feeling he would be "preaching to the choir", so to speak. A funny thing happened that day. I read the whole damn book! I couldn't put it down. While some of the information contained in the book was mostly "duh", some of it actually surprised me. And, made me change my way of thinking about members of the opposite sex. I loved this book so much, I feel like I must share what I have learned.
Men are simple creatures. Ladies, repeat this to yourselves every single second of every single day. It's not rocket science (although, for the last 18 years, I thought otherwise). Men are driven by three things...who they are, what they do and how much they make. Seems easy enough. Until all three goals are accomplished, you can forget about getting that guy in line behind you at McDonald's to ever focus on you. Or, me.
Men don't love like women. Never have, never will. A woman's love is compassionate, generous, kind, nurturing, sweet and unconditional. If a woman loves a man, she'll walk on water for him, no matter how he's acted act, the crazy thing he's said or done or no matter the time or demand. Basically, a woman's love stands the test of time and logic. A man? Well, don't expect any of the above. If you do, you're in for a rude awakening. A man's love is very simple, direct and probably a lot harder to come by. Let's be honest, a man who loves a woman is not going to call her every thirty minutes to give her an update on how much he loves her. He's not going to sit around and dote on her every word or whisper sweet nothings in her ear. I learned that a man's love is simple and he'll do each of the following three things to show his love: Profess, Provide and Protect. He'll tell anyone he meets. He'll bring home the bacon to make sure his woman is provided for in the best way. He'll do his best to make sure that no one does anything even remotely offensive to his woman. This is how a man loves. Plain and simple. I'll let you down easy and just tell you now...he may never go shopping with you to buy a new dress, but he'll escort to the party and make sure everyone in attendance knows your his woman!!
Did you know that all men want to sleep with you? If a man likes what he sees, he's gonna make it his mission to find out how he can sleep with you. When a man approaches you, he has an agenda. He want something and that "something" is what Steve Harvey referred to as the "cookie". And, I don't think he was talkin' about Oreos!!! That's right...all men want sex. When you know that up front, then you can cut all the chitchat and lay down your requirements. If he's willing to put in the time and work, he'll call. Otherwise, you know he was just in it for the "cookie". Those men? Yeah, forget about them. They're just out for a good time. Stop thinking it's a reflection on you, because it's not! One of my favorite sayings is this...IT'S HIS LOSS! Repeat that to yourself and roll on.
I also learned there are two types of women. Sports Fish vs. Keepers. Or, what most of us refer to as Sluts vs. Saints. A sports fish doesn't have any rules, requirements, self-respect or guidelines. Men can pick up that scent a mile away. You might know her as the party girl who will chug a beer, then announce to a potential mate that she "just wants to date and see how it goes". She's not a relationship kind of gal and has no expectations. She makes it very clear up front that she's just along for the ride, so to speak. In essence, she's let the man know that he can treat her any way he'd like. And, believe me, he'll do just that. Why wouldn't ALL men run and sign up for that!?!?! A keeper never gives in easily and the requirements start the minute the man opens his mouth. She is powerful and she commands respect. Men can bring their "A" game and, while she might be somewhat impressed with the lines men give her, there's no guarantee she's going to let the conversation go any further. Or, even give a man her number. If a man wants this type of lady, he'll have to follow her requirements or follow the yellow brick road all the way to the exit sign because she's done with games and isn't interested in playing. Nice try, but all you get are parting gifts, Romeo!
Men respect standards...GET SOME! No need to explain this. It's very cut and dry. While men appreciate it when women let them know what they require in a relationship, I also believe women need to step back and let a man show her what he's made of. Basically, prove that he's worthy of your time. Let a man show you what he's willing to do for you. I think you'll be surprised at the outcome!!
I could go on and on and on, but I won't. As I said before, it's not rocket science. Men are simple. Some women (like myself) like to complicate things. If a guy likes you, he'll let you know. He'll call. He'll text. He'll go out of his way to tell you he likes you. If a guy treats you as if he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. This is where MOST women need help. I say this because I've been one of "those" girls. I've met my fair share of some interesting men. I've heard all the lines. I could write a book. I made excuses for them. Oh, maybe he's playing hard to get. I'm sure he's just lost my number. Maybe he was taken out to the woods and eaten by a bear. The list goes on and on. It's taken me a LONG time to change my way of thinking. Believe me, I had to have A LOT of talks with myself. I used to think it was a reflection on me. Oh, if I just lost 20 more pounds, he'll like me. I'll just drink three more beers to loosen up and he'll surely come sit by me. Yes, it's crazy, but I think more women are like this and don't want to admit it. I fell for it all, hook, line and sinker. When a girl doesn't think too highly of herself, it's quite easy to get fooled by a man.
Let me make something very clear...THIS IS NOT A MAN-BASHING BLOG. It's simply my thoughts as I learned them from a very good book. I think I finally understand how it works. Women need to have some self-respect. We should make men work for what they want. Don't make it so easy. If he gets the cookie up front, he'll run and go find someone else who'll give him more of the cookie. Maybe even a better batch. In that case, forget him! Now you know he was only out for a good time. These are the types of men who only want the "sports fish" and not someone that, ten years from now, will be a part of his family portrait hanging on the wall. Declare it "HIS LOSS" and go flaunt yourself to someone who will work for your time and attention. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those men. It's just not right for a girl who's looking for a long-lasting relationship.
One of my favorite sayings is the following:
"THOSE WHO LIKE ME, RAISE YOUR HAND. THOSE WHO DON'T, RAISE YOUR STANDARDS".
Ladies, life is hard. Don't complicate it by hanging on to guys who only want the cookie. Run away from Cookie Monster, make a list of your requirements, then go find a man who's willing to work for it. After all, men aren't gonna buy the cow when they can get the milk (and cookies) for free!!!
Happy searching. Dating is hard. It's even harder when you think Romeo has actually been eaten by that bear! :)
Great...now I want an OREO!!
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