Sunday, July 24, 2011

No offense, USA, but it's definitely HOTTER closer to the Equator :)

I'm not a writer.  Never have been.  Never will be.  But, after my jaunt "South of the border" I feel compelled to write about it.  No, I'm not trying to rub it in and play "I got to go to Mexico and you didn't" games.  Rather, I want to share with you (maybe the whole two people that happen to read this) my experiences while they are all still swimming around in my head.  I wish I could regurgitate every second, sound, smell from my vacation.  Reading about my adventures and looking at the pictures, I feel, just doesn't do Mexico justice.  But, I'll do my best to give it all the credit that it's due...

Monday, July 18th:  This is the day we flew to Cancun.  Better yet, this is "Doom's Day".  Why, you ask?  I'll tell ya.  I've never been a big fan of flying.  It's not so much the "good morning/afternoon/evening, ladies and gentlemen we have now reached our cruising altitude of 33,000 feet" part.  It's the taking off part.  Does anyone enjoy this?  Probably those of you that like to go from zero to 700 miles per hour in two seconds.  At least that's what it feels like to this chicken.  I believe I'd rather have each individual eyebrow plucked than do that over and over again.  At any rate, it comes with the territory and, thus, I deal with it.  Well, maybe with the help of a little Meclizine.  It's not the "ludicrous" speed to which the plane achieves.  It's the overall feeling of weightlessness.  Suddenly, the wheels go run and hide and the plane is now forced to carry the load of about 200 passengers.  Kinda scary, in my opinion!!  Once we reached the top of the world, I was distracted by the people, the sounds, the various languages been spoken.  And, I sipped on my beverage while devouring a teeny-tiny bag of mini pretzels.  Seriously, folks, update your snack selection.  Surely, you can afford a bag of Cheetos!  Long story short, DAY ONE ended with a safe flight and a gorgeous sunset landing in beautiful Mexico.  We staked out the van that would take us to our resort after walking what felt like miles through the airport in Cancun.  I took the advice of a coworker and did NOT make eye contact with many of the males in the airport.  Apparently, doing so will possibly land you a date .  Where, I don't know, but I'll bet it wasn't to our resort!  After speeding through customs and security, we arrived safely to our resort, "Gran Caribe Real Resort and Spa".  We were all ravenous, so we hurried to one of the restaurants and practically ate everything off the buffet, at least I felt like I did.  Day one was nearing an end.  My dogs were barking loudly.  Armed with my memory foam eye shade, I drifted off into a blissful night's sleep, with visions of sand and water dancing in my head.  

Tuesday, July 19th:  Beach time!  I was a little worried because the forecast I had studied religiously for the week we would be in Cancun said a chance of rain every single stinking day!  Well, Tuesday started out to be proving me wrong on all accounts.  Beautiful azure blue skies, a minimal amount of white, fluffy clouds and, of course, that big yellow ball in the sky.  I don't know if any of you were aware of this fact, but Cancun is actually closer to the Equator than TC.  And, let me tell you, you sure could feel it!  The sun was HOT.  No, make that scorching.  Who in the world would want to lay out in weather like this?  Oh wait, that'd be me.  I OD'd on SPF 30 (Yes, I still took some of my dark tanning oil...I can already see the eye rolls!), grabbed a book and ran to the nearest beach chair I could find.  Surprisingly, around 11 o'clock, not many people were found frolicking on the beach.  A ha!, I thought, my chance to stake out a great locale.  Naturally, I headed toward the chair directly below the sun.  Catching some rays was happily interrupted by the sounds of me and my friends laughing, a quick lunch and dips in the ocean.  Luckily, my skin didn't catch fire, although it was touch-and-go for a second.  The only rough spot of day two?  I forgot to put sunscreen on my pretty little face...oops!  I justified that "oops" by thinking that, if nothing else, I could always be Rudolph's understudy.  If he was unable, for any reason, to guide Santa's sleigh, his twin and first runner-up could step in and do the job.  The day ended with a lovely dinner, followed by a walk through the makeshift flea market set up around the pool.  Man, those people were pushy.  One look at them and they pounced like a tiger hunting for prey.  Yes, I fell victim.  I spotted a pair of "Coach" sunglasses and practically got them for free.  So what if they're probably knock-offs.  They were $20.  And, they were cute.  Another plus about this day?  A wonderful massage in the resort spa.  I've never had a massage quite like it!  It was definitely a well-deserved treat for all the knots in my back.  Sixty minutes of absolute bliss.

Wednesday, July 20:  Another beautiful day of sun and sand.  Surely I would've learned my lesson about the intense heat of the day before...WRONG!  There's something about the mix of sun, sand and ocean that causes me to lose all ability to think straight.  I had to lay out.  Again.  There was no stopping me.  How bad could it be, right?  Well, little did I know that the sun was gonna have it in for me.  Too bad I never took into account  that all the sweat pouring off my body was also taking the sunscreen with it.  Lesson learned.  I felt like I was coating myself in sunscreen.  My upper body thought otherwise.  Ouch!  Although not "lobster red", I did have a bit of a burn, but knew that it would most likely turn to turn in a day or so.  I understand this isn't a good way to treat my skin.  But, I guess we all have our vices.  Mine just happens to be loving A LOT of sun exposure!  This day repeated itself like the one before.  Lots of laying out in between bites of food, swigs of water and another fabulous dinner.  I love food.  Almost as much as lounging by the ocean.  On the menu on this particular night?  Sushi and some yummy stir-fry, all consumed by the lovely ocean and a fabulous sunset.  Had I died and gone to heaven?  At that moment, I would've shouted a resounding "YES"!  This day ended with a tattoo.  No, not a real one.  Henna.  I tried to fool people, mainly my mother.  Honestly, I have kinda wanted to see what all the hype was about with getting inked.  Come on, though!  If I wanted to get a tat, I would definitely NOT get my first one in Mexico!  I think some people were fooled.  Others?  Not so much. The two men working the Henna station were unbelievably nice.  We even ended up taking a few pics of them later in the trip and they wrote down their names on a napkin for the purpose of looking them up on facebook...ha!  One of them even uttered the words "lucky bastards" after playing along and posing for some pics.  I'm not lying, it was the only thing I heard him say the entire vacation when we visited them!  He was our artist and did some amazing free-hand henna!

Thursday, July 21:  Surprise...another day of sunscreen and laying out!  Shocking, right?  I had to.  It was another gorgeous day and it's a pity to waste it not trying to become a "bronzed goddess"!  The redness on my upper neck and my face was slowly, but surely, fading to a golden brown.  I grabbed another book from the room and laid claim to a beach chair, positioned every-so strategically in the perfect spot for another round of sun-bathing.  At that moment, I got a little teary.  Watching the water lap upon the sand, hearing the sound of the waves crashing, looking out onto the vast array of water (the most beautiful I had ever seen) and taking in all my surroundings, I realized something.  This opportunity might not come around again.  I was in paradise!  I had to pinch myself a time or two, feeling so blessed to be experiencing all of this with some amazing people.  This moment of appreciation was followed by, you guessed it, another tasty dinner and another look through the flea market.

Friday, July 22:  This day was a little less cooperative, in terms of weather.  Clouds rolled in early in the morning, leaving behind a short sprinkle in its wake.  It's amazing how fast that bout of bad weather came and went.  The sun was attempting to peak its head out and so, since this was going to be my last opportunity, I headed out to my trusty old beach chair and listened to some tunes.  This was the life.  I was secretly plotting ways I could stay here forever.  Surely, I thought, Cancun needed good nurses!  Or, maybe I could get a job at the resort.  I've always wanted to wear one of those big chef's hats.  Not that I cook a lot, but I tried to convince myself I'd probably do a great job bossing everyone else around.  Or, maybe I could dress up in the precious maid's dresses and clean the rooms.  I do love to clean, you know!  Friday night ended with another round of sushi and stir-fry and almost getting blown away during dinner.  Another quick rain swept through and, while gorging myself, we all thought we might be swept away with the wind.  Luckily, though, the wind didn't take us, or our yummy food, away!

Saturday, July 23:  Check-out day.  As much fun as I had with my friends, I was ready to get home to my own bed and back to my non-tropical existence.  I took last-minute pics on my cell phone and said "Adios" to paradise.  We were escorted back to the airport and boarded our flight for Nashville.  We landed safely around 6:00 pm.  Nothing like feeling the wheels of the plane touch down in the good old USA!

I will miss so many things about Mexico.  I will miss the hospitality of the entire staff at the resort.  Each and every person, from the first bell-hop that whisked our bags away, to the nice man that checked us out, I had no complaints.  Everyone was so nice and friendly!  No one was too pushy (I had read a few reviews about how they bug you to go listen to a time-share presentation).  All we had to do was say we weren't interested and no more questions were asked.  Another thing I will miss is the people-watching.  There's nothing like it!  Sit in one of the huge sofas in the lobby that might have been three times the size of my house, and you had an instant show.  People of all nationalities muddled around, visited the lobby bar, or just sat and took in some of the best breezes around.  Believe me, just sitting in the lobby for two seconds with the cool breeze touching my shoulder was enough to put a BIG smile on my face!  I will also miss all the food.  Food glorious food!  It seemed there was food around every corner.  I've never eaten so much food in my life!  Breakfast usually consisted of fruit and yogurt with granola.  I loved the yogurt and granola!  So much so, I ate it every single day!  The fruit was out of this world!  It was all so fresh, so delicious!  A light lunch was normally followed by a hearty dinner.  Believe me, I will NEVER forget all the various kids of foods I ate.  Insane!!

Now, I guess it's back to life, back to reality.  Back to the everyday grind of work and working out.  I worked out today for the first time in over a week and I definitely felt it!  I did enough sweating just being outside in Cancun, I didn't really feel like adding more at the resort gym.  Besides, vacation is meant to be relaxing and a break away from one's normal, hum-drum life.  So, I left my sneakers at home and vowed the only "exercise" I engaged in would be walking to and from eating!  If you've not had the opportunity to visit Cancun, I suggest you do.  Start saving now!  Like I said earlier, my pics just don't do the place justice.  I always thought water that pure and blue was just a myth.  Ha!  No, it's real.  And, it was right outside our patio.  And, a patio hammock?  Really?  A bed right outside our room for our own personal use?  You've got to be kidding me!  All of it true and all of it simply amazing.  I lived the life for a week and it was, in one word, FABULOUS!  I'd always wondered what it would be like to purchase a Visa, fly to a tropical destination and experience all that it had to offer.  And, I did just that.  I don't have a so-called bucket list but, if I did, that would've been at the top of the list.  And, it became my reality this past week.

What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico, at least according to Toby Keith.  Well, Toby, I've spilled all of my "secrets" to the blogging world.  I'm sure my mother is breathing a sigh of relief that I didn't get kidnapped by any drug cartels, land myself booty in the slammer or get married.  Me?  I am breathing a sigh of relief that this vacation went off without a hitch.  Adios, Mexico.  You can guarantee I'll be back to see you someday.  When?  I'm not sure.  Better start saving my pennies :)

YES, I drank the water.  YES, I am still alive.  YES, my GI is apparently made of steel.  Suck on that, Mexican H20 :)

Now, how did all this sand get back to my house? ;)

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