Tuesday, January 1, 2013
How Do You Measure, Measure A Year?
There are 525,600 minutes in a year. And, if you've ever seen the musical "Rent", there's even a song about it. The lyrics ask, "how do you measure, measure a year?"
It seemed like just yesterday I was ringing in a new year...I had high hopes for my life in 2012, as I'm sure millions of people had the same thoughts. We all make resolutions to lose weight, be more kind, patient, and the list goes on and on and on. I never make resolutions because I rarely, make that NEVER, stick to any of them. Sure, I am good for the month of January, then it seems to go downhill quickly. I think it's the fact that the sun rarely shines until about mid-March! So, at this time last year, I really had no set plan for 2012. Basically, I just wanted to make it to see another year. Well, I did and then some...
The year unfolded as most have done for the past several years. Meet new people, make new memories, spend time with old and new friends, work, eat, sleep and repeat. Nothing really monumental happened until September 5th. Granted, the year prior to this date was great! Looking back, though, I can say this was the day that gave me my life back. Yes, it sounds corny. But, it's my story and my life. If you wanna continue reading, better grab a snack!!
Let me tell you what led me to Sept. 5th...I joined a new gym last February. In may, the gym advertised a "Biggest Loser" competition. I didn't sign up because, at that time, I told myself I couldn't do it and didn't need to lose weight. This is coming from someone who, prior to this year, didn't like to step on a scale. In my mind, I was healthy if I worked out. Hell, I worked out so I could eat complete crap 24/7. In August, after the success of the first BL contest, there was talk of doing a second one. Something told me to pay attention this time. I can't really pinpoint what made me want to consider this...maybe it was the talk I had with myself. Yes, I actually sat myself down and had a talk with myself. Why couldn't I do this? It seemed like so many others had had success...it was my turn. For years, I had come up with some of the best (and lamest) excuses as to why I couldn't lose weight...I blamed it on my thyroid, working nights, the weather, etc!! So, after my "talking to" with myself, I signed up. I thought that, if it was a big flop again, I was only out $10.
Fast-forward to Sept 5th. I remember that Wednesday well. I put on my "gym best" and marched my happy ass down to the gym. I was gonna show the scale who was boss. I really had no idea how much I weighed but, when I stepped on the scale, I was SHOCKED...204 lbs. Yes, you read that right. 204 big lbs!!! Surely, this was some kind of mistake. I am addicted to the gym and I weight 204 lbs? Part of me wanted to run away and hide. I'm not gonna lie...I was nearly in tears. I had let myself go and I hated the number staring back at me. At that moment, it was time to show the world (and myself) that I could do it this time!
I won't relive the entire 11 weeks. Long story short, I lost 27.2 lbs during the competition, was named my team's "biggest loser" for losing the highest percentage of weight and came in 2nd among over 100 participants! WTH? Yes, I almost won the whole damn contest! Me, who almost didn't sign up. Me, who has gained and lost so much weight over the last 10 years. Me, who didn't think I could even lose five pounds!! Wow, talk about a life-changing last quarter of 2012!!
I can't imagine living through something as HUGE as weight loss and not learning anything. In 11 weeks, I lost 27.2 lbs...that's the average weight for a two year-old boy or girl! I lost a child!! Ha ha! Since the contest ended, I've lost an additional 3-4 pounds, bringing my total so far to around 31-32 lbs. I am still in awe of what I've accomplished. Yes, I talk about it all the time and some of you might be tired of hearing it. You know what? I don't care. When it comes to weight loss, I say brag away!
Okay, here comes the point in the story where I tell you what I've learned. I can do anything...anything!! Before I started this journey, I wasn't so sure. Now, I know that, no matter what life throws at me, I can conquer it! Also, I found something I'd being lacking for so many years...my confidence. If you've never been overweight, then maybe you don't understand this. Maybe you've known me for years or maybe you just see me about town and still don't get this. I've always hidden behind mt weight and used it as a crutch to NOT do a lot of different things because I didn't think I could...NEVER AGAIN! I learned that I am such a strong person, mentally AND physically! I finally believe in myself and I think that, no matter your abilities, your belief can take you to places that you once thought you could never travel!! I also learned that accountability is key. Knowing that I had to weigh-in every week and hold myself accountable to my team helped me tremendously. I am certain that I couldn't have done this on my own. I will never forget the support that I received from my Everbody's family, my team and my friends and family! At times, I was in tears...and, if you know me well, you know I don't cry!
About a month ago, I was asked by the owners of the gym if I wanted to be a coach during the third "biggest loser" contest. I laughed it off and didn't think much about it until they kept on asking...they are very persistent! Why not me? I trusted in the process and it worked for me. Surely I could teach others! I finally said yes. Apparently, they believe in me enough and feel I'm fully capable of the task at hand and, for that, I am most grateful!
So, there you have it, folks. I've gotten rid of 32 lbs. since Sept. 5th and I have no intention of finding the weight ever again! Yes, seeing 172 on the scale is mind-blowing! But, I think what's even cooler is the fact that I have actually inspired others to do what I nervously did four months ago...join the "biggest loser" contest! That's what makes me happy...hearing that I have inspired someone to join a gym, walk to work, eat a little less and move a little more. How awesome! I still have about 10-13 more pounds I'd like to lose and, although it might be difficult, I will reach my goal!!
Finally, I now know how you measure a year...my year...2012. I measure it with weight loss, and confidence, and courage and paying it forward. I truly believe that I was meant to join the competition. Not so much for the shrinking waistline, but for the ability to help others...to inspire...to change people's lives as so many people have done for me!
A new year is upon us. I want to pay it forward and help those of you if are ready to change your life! There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. May 2013 bring you happiness, health, love, peace and the ability to regain your own life. I'm living proof that YOU can do it, too!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Two Bowling Balls...
Except for a brief period of time in high school and right after I graduated from college, I have always been just a little bit fat. Yeah, I called myself fat. It's my blog, I can do what I want! Anyway, I'm still convinced that my birth weight of 5 lbs., 6 oz. is a lie. How could someone born that small turn out to be so big? Well, ever heard of a place called Wendy's? Yeah, I'm blaming Dave Thomas on this one.
I absolutely love the above named fast-food restaurant. In my opinion, the best burgers around. When I was little, I remember watching TV and loving all of the Wendy's commercials. Dave seemed like an all-around swell guy who just so happened to make tasty food. Plus, I thought it was so cool he named the chain after one of his daughters. I secretly wished my own dad would pay homage to me in some similar fashion. I'm still waiting on that wish to come true! Anyway, I developed my love for all things greasy before I finished elementary school. I think you can see where this story is heading...
This isn't the part when I want anyone to feel sorry for me. Believe me, I knew what I was doing. I ate my emotions at all times and they always tasted great! At any rate, I caught on at a pretty early age how I could make this work in my favor...if people thought I was funny, maybe they would forget my ass was the size of two bowling balls. So, I started to tell jokes. I would make them up and laugh out loud before presenting them to my family. They weren't funny. But, I think my parents laughed to humor me. Gee, people were laughing...I've gotta find some way to take this show outside my house. So, over the next several years, I spend many hours making fun of myself. For a long time, I fooled myself into thinking it actually worked.
I've learned something over the last year. No matter how hard I try to act like the clown, it doesn't solve the real issue. I've haven't really thought so highly of myself over the last few years. I've never really set the standard for how people should be treating me...with respect. Up until this point, I've tried to change in the hopes that people would like me...doing whatever it took to make that possible. EPIC FAIL! If you have to change to please someone, then you might as well forget it. Losing weight for the umpteenth time has made me realize that I should NEVER have to change to please anyone...to some, this might be an oxymoron. To me, it makes sense. Now, I'm changing for ME. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to walk into any store and not worry about having to find the plus-size section. I want someone to finally give a damn about me because I am a nice, funny, smart and pretty person, but not because I've lost weight.
There are too many people in this world who are so focused on what a person looks like that they miss out on some really great people, including me. I now realize something...IT'S THEIR LOSS!! If you don't like me because I'm not a size six, then you obviously aren't worth MY time. I've ignored my fair share, too, because of my weight. However, it took me finally taking control of my waistline to realize all of this...I AM ENOUGH!!!
I don't have all the answers. I'm just a girl who's trying to make it in this crazy thing I call life. I screw up on a daily basis. I'm much too hard on myself. I don't have all the answers. What I do have is an amazing support system and that's what keeps me going...NEVER GIVE UP!!
The only person I'm ever striving to be better than is the person I was yesterday...so far, so good!!
Confidence is key, no matter the situation...if you believe you've got "IT", so will everyone else!! :)
I absolutely love the above named fast-food restaurant. In my opinion, the best burgers around. When I was little, I remember watching TV and loving all of the Wendy's commercials. Dave seemed like an all-around swell guy who just so happened to make tasty food. Plus, I thought it was so cool he named the chain after one of his daughters. I secretly wished my own dad would pay homage to me in some similar fashion. I'm still waiting on that wish to come true! Anyway, I developed my love for all things greasy before I finished elementary school. I think you can see where this story is heading...
This isn't the part when I want anyone to feel sorry for me. Believe me, I knew what I was doing. I ate my emotions at all times and they always tasted great! At any rate, I caught on at a pretty early age how I could make this work in my favor...if people thought I was funny, maybe they would forget my ass was the size of two bowling balls. So, I started to tell jokes. I would make them up and laugh out loud before presenting them to my family. They weren't funny. But, I think my parents laughed to humor me. Gee, people were laughing...I've gotta find some way to take this show outside my house. So, over the next several years, I spend many hours making fun of myself. For a long time, I fooled myself into thinking it actually worked.
I've learned something over the last year. No matter how hard I try to act like the clown, it doesn't solve the real issue. I've haven't really thought so highly of myself over the last few years. I've never really set the standard for how people should be treating me...with respect. Up until this point, I've tried to change in the hopes that people would like me...doing whatever it took to make that possible. EPIC FAIL! If you have to change to please someone, then you might as well forget it. Losing weight for the umpteenth time has made me realize that I should NEVER have to change to please anyone...to some, this might be an oxymoron. To me, it makes sense. Now, I'm changing for ME. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to walk into any store and not worry about having to find the plus-size section. I want someone to finally give a damn about me because I am a nice, funny, smart and pretty person, but not because I've lost weight.
There are too many people in this world who are so focused on what a person looks like that they miss out on some really great people, including me. I now realize something...IT'S THEIR LOSS!! If you don't like me because I'm not a size six, then you obviously aren't worth MY time. I've ignored my fair share, too, because of my weight. However, it took me finally taking control of my waistline to realize all of this...I AM ENOUGH!!!
I don't have all the answers. I'm just a girl who's trying to make it in this crazy thing I call life. I screw up on a daily basis. I'm much too hard on myself. I don't have all the answers. What I do have is an amazing support system and that's what keeps me going...NEVER GIVE UP!!
The only person I'm ever striving to be better than is the person I was yesterday...so far, so good!!
Confidence is key, no matter the situation...if you believe you've got "IT", so will everyone else!! :)
Friday, September 7, 2012
FOR ONCE, I WANNA BE A BIG LOSER!!
Yogi Berra once said, "Ninety percent of the game is half mental". I thought a lot about this quote the night of September 4th. Just another Tuesday in the life of yours truly. However, this day was anything but ordinary. This was my last day of eating everything not nailed down. Because, for the first time in a LONG time, I was finally ready to do something I hadn't been able to do in years...LOSE WEIGHT.
For years, I've struggled with the number on the scale. As a child, I was always heavier than all my classmates and friends. My parents never sat me down and said, "you're eating everything on your plate because there are starving kids in Africa". From a very early age, I ate everything on my plate and then some because I was hungry. Constantly hungry. It probably didn't help matters that, instead of wanting to go outside and play all the time, I planted my fat ass in front of the TV and had Nintendo tournaments with the neighborhood kids and our favorite pals, Mario and Luigi. To this day, I still don't understand the purpose of that damn toad!!
At any rate, for most of my childhood, I was pudgy, especially during the dreaded years of Jr. High. Talk about the three worst years of my life. All my friends were getting taller and I was getting fatter. I remember, while playing a very "competitive" game of volleyball in 6th grade gym class, one of my classmates called me fat. I can't recall my exact facial expression at that time but, had I been one of those "rebel without a cause" kids, I would've hauled off and punched him in the face. Luckily, my best friend said, in a voice I felt at the time could shatter glass, "Shut up, Barry". We still laugh about that to this day!! And, I'm glad that I can laugh about it. Words are much like weapons. They cut deep and leave scars that sometimes never go away. When you're bigger than the average bear, you are a little bit more sensitive, especially when you're a girl who's got a little extra "junk in her trunk".
In high school, I was on the swim team. That was probably my first experience with exercise of any kind. We would swim every day after school. After getting home, it took everything I had to eat and finish my homework...I was exhausted! As a result of my years on the team, I was the leanest and lightest I'd ever been...155 lbs!! To a former fat girl, this was probably the greatest thing to ever happen to me at that point. I felt and looked good, although my haircut and clothing choices still had a lot of room for improvement!!
High school quickly turned into college and the dreaded fifteen somehow turned into the "dreaded I lost count somewhere in between all the ice cream, pizza and beer I consumed". However, even though I had gained back all the weight I had lost and then some, this period of time was when I got well acquainted with a gym. Looking back, as nervous as I was stepping into the land of all the perfect people, it really did save my life...until my thyroid surgery.
Fast-forward to me moving back home to go back to school. Nursing school, to be exact. Throughout my nursing school years, I also was a member of Weight Watchers. Before I moved home, I had started the program and continued it when I moved back to town. Over a span of nine months, I lost 50 lbs. and I felt like I could accomplish anything. Too bad my thyroid had other plans. I had been nursing for about six months when I noticed there was something wrong with my neck. One side was increasingly larger than the other and it seemed as if it happened overnight. Naturally, since I had RN behind my name, I just assumed it was cancer. After appointments and tests, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I had what one doctor described as the biggest goiter he'd ever seen. Mr. Potato Head was encompassing the entire left lobe of my thyroid. There was a chance it was cancer, something I had assumed even before I realized what was happening. I had surgery in Feb. 2006 and was relieved to get the news it wasn't cancer! Since my surgery, it has become more difficult to drop even a pound. To make matters worse, I have gained back most of the weight I had lost during WW. For the last several months, no matter how much blood, sweat and tears I put in at the gym, the number on the scale wouldn't budge.
About a month ago, I had an epiphany. If I didn't do something and soon, things were gonna get ugly! I vowed right then that I would do whatever it took to lose my "food baby" weight and for good! During the summer, my gym had a "Biggest Loser" contest. At the beginning of the summer, I convinced myself that I couldn't do it, so I didn't join. Well, the second "Biggest Loser" contest started September 5th with me as a contestant. Could I do this? Could I really do this? The night before, I jokingly referred to my evening meal as my "last supper" and scarfed down a double baconator and large fries from Wendy's. It was THE best burger and fries I had ever eaten! I was in Heaven. The next day, I faced the scale and about vomited when I saw the dreadful number staring back at me...204. I include it in this blog because it holds me accountable. Sure, some of you may be shocked. Maybe you thought it wasn't possible I could weigh that much. Maybe you thought the number would've been a lot higher. I was embarrassed. How did I let myself get back into the 200's?? Obviously, if I had known the answer, I wouldn't been back there!!!
Even though I'm only three days into the contest, I feel so much better, moth mentally and physically. Remember what Yogi said? Well, this is what I say...100% of dieting is ALL mental. For years, I told myself that I couldn't do it. Why did I want to eat apples when I could have that greasy slice of pizza? Well, you know what? I finally get it. You have to believe and want it more than you've ever wanted anything in life. I had to completely change my way of thinking. Instead of the "life is short, eat whatever you want" mentality that has brought me to this point, I now see life a bit differently. I can't call it a diet because diets are too restricting. In my opinion, it's an entire lifestyle change. If I was going to do this, I was going to do this right. Not only was I going to change my eating, but I was going to have to hold myself accountable, and that meant recording EVERYTHING I put in my mouth! This last bit has proved to be the key. When you have to see in print on on an app everything you've eaten over the course of a day, you become much more aware of what is good and what is gonna be a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!
So, I'm on my my umpteenth weight-loss journey. Will I be a big loser at the end? I sure hope so! Whatever happens, I already consider myself a loser for having the courage to face my food addiction head on. I may not be where I want to be, but I'm a lot closer than I was three days ago!!
"If you eat what you've always eaten, you'll weigh what you've always weighed". People, I'm no expert, but I'm simply trying to eat a little less and move a little more. If I can do it, you can, too!! Make a commitment today to change your life...and, your underwear on a daily basis!! :)
For years, I've struggled with the number on the scale. As a child, I was always heavier than all my classmates and friends. My parents never sat me down and said, "you're eating everything on your plate because there are starving kids in Africa". From a very early age, I ate everything on my plate and then some because I was hungry. Constantly hungry. It probably didn't help matters that, instead of wanting to go outside and play all the time, I planted my fat ass in front of the TV and had Nintendo tournaments with the neighborhood kids and our favorite pals, Mario and Luigi. To this day, I still don't understand the purpose of that damn toad!!
At any rate, for most of my childhood, I was pudgy, especially during the dreaded years of Jr. High. Talk about the three worst years of my life. All my friends were getting taller and I was getting fatter. I remember, while playing a very "competitive" game of volleyball in 6th grade gym class, one of my classmates called me fat. I can't recall my exact facial expression at that time but, had I been one of those "rebel without a cause" kids, I would've hauled off and punched him in the face. Luckily, my best friend said, in a voice I felt at the time could shatter glass, "Shut up, Barry". We still laugh about that to this day!! And, I'm glad that I can laugh about it. Words are much like weapons. They cut deep and leave scars that sometimes never go away. When you're bigger than the average bear, you are a little bit more sensitive, especially when you're a girl who's got a little extra "junk in her trunk".
In high school, I was on the swim team. That was probably my first experience with exercise of any kind. We would swim every day after school. After getting home, it took everything I had to eat and finish my homework...I was exhausted! As a result of my years on the team, I was the leanest and lightest I'd ever been...155 lbs!! To a former fat girl, this was probably the greatest thing to ever happen to me at that point. I felt and looked good, although my haircut and clothing choices still had a lot of room for improvement!!
High school quickly turned into college and the dreaded fifteen somehow turned into the "dreaded I lost count somewhere in between all the ice cream, pizza and beer I consumed". However, even though I had gained back all the weight I had lost and then some, this period of time was when I got well acquainted with a gym. Looking back, as nervous as I was stepping into the land of all the perfect people, it really did save my life...until my thyroid surgery.
Fast-forward to me moving back home to go back to school. Nursing school, to be exact. Throughout my nursing school years, I also was a member of Weight Watchers. Before I moved home, I had started the program and continued it when I moved back to town. Over a span of nine months, I lost 50 lbs. and I felt like I could accomplish anything. Too bad my thyroid had other plans. I had been nursing for about six months when I noticed there was something wrong with my neck. One side was increasingly larger than the other and it seemed as if it happened overnight. Naturally, since I had RN behind my name, I just assumed it was cancer. After appointments and tests, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I had what one doctor described as the biggest goiter he'd ever seen. Mr. Potato Head was encompassing the entire left lobe of my thyroid. There was a chance it was cancer, something I had assumed even before I realized what was happening. I had surgery in Feb. 2006 and was relieved to get the news it wasn't cancer! Since my surgery, it has become more difficult to drop even a pound. To make matters worse, I have gained back most of the weight I had lost during WW. For the last several months, no matter how much blood, sweat and tears I put in at the gym, the number on the scale wouldn't budge.
About a month ago, I had an epiphany. If I didn't do something and soon, things were gonna get ugly! I vowed right then that I would do whatever it took to lose my "food baby" weight and for good! During the summer, my gym had a "Biggest Loser" contest. At the beginning of the summer, I convinced myself that I couldn't do it, so I didn't join. Well, the second "Biggest Loser" contest started September 5th with me as a contestant. Could I do this? Could I really do this? The night before, I jokingly referred to my evening meal as my "last supper" and scarfed down a double baconator and large fries from Wendy's. It was THE best burger and fries I had ever eaten! I was in Heaven. The next day, I faced the scale and about vomited when I saw the dreadful number staring back at me...204. I include it in this blog because it holds me accountable. Sure, some of you may be shocked. Maybe you thought it wasn't possible I could weigh that much. Maybe you thought the number would've been a lot higher. I was embarrassed. How did I let myself get back into the 200's?? Obviously, if I had known the answer, I wouldn't been back there!!!
Even though I'm only three days into the contest, I feel so much better, moth mentally and physically. Remember what Yogi said? Well, this is what I say...100% of dieting is ALL mental. For years, I told myself that I couldn't do it. Why did I want to eat apples when I could have that greasy slice of pizza? Well, you know what? I finally get it. You have to believe and want it more than you've ever wanted anything in life. I had to completely change my way of thinking. Instead of the "life is short, eat whatever you want" mentality that has brought me to this point, I now see life a bit differently. I can't call it a diet because diets are too restricting. In my opinion, it's an entire lifestyle change. If I was going to do this, I was going to do this right. Not only was I going to change my eating, but I was going to have to hold myself accountable, and that meant recording EVERYTHING I put in my mouth! This last bit has proved to be the key. When you have to see in print on on an app everything you've eaten over the course of a day, you become much more aware of what is good and what is gonna be a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!
So, I'm on my my umpteenth weight-loss journey. Will I be a big loser at the end? I sure hope so! Whatever happens, I already consider myself a loser for having the courage to face my food addiction head on. I may not be where I want to be, but I'm a lot closer than I was three days ago!!
"If you eat what you've always eaten, you'll weigh what you've always weighed". People, I'm no expert, but I'm simply trying to eat a little less and move a little more. If I can do it, you can, too!! Make a commitment today to change your life...and, your underwear on a daily basis!! :)
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Hoosier Hysteria!
After last night's Sweet 16 game, I felt compelled to write about my love for IU. If you know me, you know I'm a die-hard fan. I guess you could say I've been a fan since birth...literally!! I can't remember exactly when I first started watching the boys in the candy striped pants, but it could not have been long after I lost my first tooth and began walking.
The first real memory I have of IU basketball was the 1987 championship game. Actually, I remember that entire year. I was obsessed with Steve Alford and anything red or white. Alford was having an autograph session at a store in Evansville, so I begged mom and dad to take me. Sure enough, I'll never forget walking up to meet him as a very nervous 8 year-old, overweight girl with glasses and a muffin top. That moment was one I'll never forget! I cherished the picture of my IU basketball idol forever and probably could find it today if I dug deep enough!! "Hey, Stevie...shoot a three pointer"!! At any rate, IU made it to the final game of the NCAA tourney in 1987 and there was no way I was missing such an important game. I felt really cool because I got to stay up late on a school night. I sat glued to the TV, taking in all the lights, sounds and shots. That's probably where I developed my love for pacing the carpet and yelling at the TV. Surely the team would hear their biggest fan yelling for them!! To a kid, forty minutes of basketball felt like 40 hours! In the end, Keith Smart made the shot that was heard 'round the world and IU had its fifth national championship banner! Way to go, Bobby Knight and his signature red sweater!!
There are obviously many more memories of IU through the years. I knew I wanted to go to school there the minute I decided to use the potty like a big girl. Honestly, it was THE only school to which I applied. I was getting accepted to IU...period. In my opinion, there was no other school. Sure, I could've applied to my mom's alma mater, UE, or dad's alma mater, ISU, and hopefully get some scholarships, but those schools were not even options. My motto? IU OR BUST! Long story short, my four years at IU were some of THE best in my life. I met so many people and still call some of them friends to this day. I loved IU for so many reasons. Besides my love of IU men's basketball, I loved the campus. I was in no way intimidated by it's vastness. IU is one of the most beautiful college campuses in the country. The rolling hills of central Indiana, along with the changing seasons, made each year I spent there even more special. If I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. My senior year, I even helped with the football team (which is where I think I developed my love for men in uniform)!! I got to meet some of the players on both the football and basketball teams. It was a fun, four year ride at the greatest school in the world!!
So, it's no secret I've bled "red and white" for most of my 33 year existence. I love the HOOSIERS, in victory and defeat. The last few years haven't been so kind to the program, until a man named Tom Crean was hired to rebuild the team, which some fans expected to happen overnight. The last three years have been a little less than great, that is, until a boy named Cody Zeller made a commitment to play for the CREAM and CRIMSON. People remember where they were when Kennedy was shot, the Challenger exploded or the Twin Towers fell to the ground. I hope you're one of the lucky ones that can say you remember what you were doing when Zeller committed to IU.
WOW...WHAT A SEASON! Top 20 rankings, memorable wins over UK, Ohio State and Michigan St. and watching Crean and Co. bring the program back to basketball prominence once again!! I'm proud to say I'm a HOOSIER fan for life!! After all, it's really not natural (or healthy!!) to bleed blue! :)
HOO HOO HOO HOOSIERS!! Thanks for a memorable season, IU! Your biggest fan is excited for the future! IU basketball is baaaaaaaack! :)
The first real memory I have of IU basketball was the 1987 championship game. Actually, I remember that entire year. I was obsessed with Steve Alford and anything red or white. Alford was having an autograph session at a store in Evansville, so I begged mom and dad to take me. Sure enough, I'll never forget walking up to meet him as a very nervous 8 year-old, overweight girl with glasses and a muffin top. That moment was one I'll never forget! I cherished the picture of my IU basketball idol forever and probably could find it today if I dug deep enough!! "Hey, Stevie...shoot a three pointer"!! At any rate, IU made it to the final game of the NCAA tourney in 1987 and there was no way I was missing such an important game. I felt really cool because I got to stay up late on a school night. I sat glued to the TV, taking in all the lights, sounds and shots. That's probably where I developed my love for pacing the carpet and yelling at the TV. Surely the team would hear their biggest fan yelling for them!! To a kid, forty minutes of basketball felt like 40 hours! In the end, Keith Smart made the shot that was heard 'round the world and IU had its fifth national championship banner! Way to go, Bobby Knight and his signature red sweater!!
There are obviously many more memories of IU through the years. I knew I wanted to go to school there the minute I decided to use the potty like a big girl. Honestly, it was THE only school to which I applied. I was getting accepted to IU...period. In my opinion, there was no other school. Sure, I could've applied to my mom's alma mater, UE, or dad's alma mater, ISU, and hopefully get some scholarships, but those schools were not even options. My motto? IU OR BUST! Long story short, my four years at IU were some of THE best in my life. I met so many people and still call some of them friends to this day. I loved IU for so many reasons. Besides my love of IU men's basketball, I loved the campus. I was in no way intimidated by it's vastness. IU is one of the most beautiful college campuses in the country. The rolling hills of central Indiana, along with the changing seasons, made each year I spent there even more special. If I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. My senior year, I even helped with the football team (which is where I think I developed my love for men in uniform)!! I got to meet some of the players on both the football and basketball teams. It was a fun, four year ride at the greatest school in the world!!
So, it's no secret I've bled "red and white" for most of my 33 year existence. I love the HOOSIERS, in victory and defeat. The last few years haven't been so kind to the program, until a man named Tom Crean was hired to rebuild the team, which some fans expected to happen overnight. The last three years have been a little less than great, that is, until a boy named Cody Zeller made a commitment to play for the CREAM and CRIMSON. People remember where they were when Kennedy was shot, the Challenger exploded or the Twin Towers fell to the ground. I hope you're one of the lucky ones that can say you remember what you were doing when Zeller committed to IU.
WOW...WHAT A SEASON! Top 20 rankings, memorable wins over UK, Ohio State and Michigan St. and watching Crean and Co. bring the program back to basketball prominence once again!! I'm proud to say I'm a HOOSIER fan for life!! After all, it's really not natural (or healthy!!) to bleed blue! :)
HOO HOO HOO HOOSIERS!! Thanks for a memorable season, IU! Your biggest fan is excited for the future! IU basketball is baaaaaaaack! :)
Monday, March 12, 2012
Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man
A few weeks ago, I bought a book. I'm not much of a reader, although I do enjoy reading what I call "fluff" books on occasion. At any rate, a title struck my fancy, so I grabbed the book and threw it in my cart. The name of the book is "Act like a lady, think like a man". I'll have to admit, I was a little embarrassed to scan this item by the nice Walmart worker. So, I used the self-checkout. After getting home, I quickly opened the book and started reading. I had a small amount of time to kill, so I decided to read at least the first chapter. I started laughing at the thought of even reading such a book. After all, I figured I already knew how men thought, so why did I need to waste time reading something Steven Harvey wrote. Granted, he's a very funny comedian, but I had a feeling he would be "preaching to the choir", so to speak. A funny thing happened that day. I read the whole damn book! I couldn't put it down. While some of the information contained in the book was mostly "duh", some of it actually surprised me. And, made me change my way of thinking about members of the opposite sex. I loved this book so much, I feel like I must share what I have learned.
Men are simple creatures. Ladies, repeat this to yourselves every single second of every single day. It's not rocket science (although, for the last 18 years, I thought otherwise). Men are driven by three things...who they are, what they do and how much they make. Seems easy enough. Until all three goals are accomplished, you can forget about getting that guy in line behind you at McDonald's to ever focus on you. Or, me.
Men don't love like women. Never have, never will. A woman's love is compassionate, generous, kind, nurturing, sweet and unconditional. If a woman loves a man, she'll walk on water for him, no matter how he's acted act, the crazy thing he's said or done or no matter the time or demand. Basically, a woman's love stands the test of time and logic. A man? Well, don't expect any of the above. If you do, you're in for a rude awakening. A man's love is very simple, direct and probably a lot harder to come by. Let's be honest, a man who loves a woman is not going to call her every thirty minutes to give her an update on how much he loves her. He's not going to sit around and dote on her every word or whisper sweet nothings in her ear. I learned that a man's love is simple and he'll do each of the following three things to show his love: Profess, Provide and Protect. He'll tell anyone he meets. He'll bring home the bacon to make sure his woman is provided for in the best way. He'll do his best to make sure that no one does anything even remotely offensive to his woman. This is how a man loves. Plain and simple. I'll let you down easy and just tell you now...he may never go shopping with you to buy a new dress, but he'll escort to the party and make sure everyone in attendance knows your his woman!!
Did you know that all men want to sleep with you? If a man likes what he sees, he's gonna make it his mission to find out how he can sleep with you. When a man approaches you, he has an agenda. He want something and that "something" is what Steve Harvey referred to as the "cookie". And, I don't think he was talkin' about Oreos!!! That's right...all men want sex. When you know that up front, then you can cut all the chitchat and lay down your requirements. If he's willing to put in the time and work, he'll call. Otherwise, you know he was just in it for the "cookie". Those men? Yeah, forget about them. They're just out for a good time. Stop thinking it's a reflection on you, because it's not! One of my favorite sayings is this...IT'S HIS LOSS! Repeat that to yourself and roll on.
I also learned there are two types of women. Sports Fish vs. Keepers. Or, what most of us refer to as Sluts vs. Saints. A sports fish doesn't have any rules, requirements, self-respect or guidelines. Men can pick up that scent a mile away. You might know her as the party girl who will chug a beer, then announce to a potential mate that she "just wants to date and see how it goes". She's not a relationship kind of gal and has no expectations. She makes it very clear up front that she's just along for the ride, so to speak. In essence, she's let the man know that he can treat her any way he'd like. And, believe me, he'll do just that. Why wouldn't ALL men run and sign up for that!?!?! A keeper never gives in easily and the requirements start the minute the man opens his mouth. She is powerful and she commands respect. Men can bring their "A" game and, while she might be somewhat impressed with the lines men give her, there's no guarantee she's going to let the conversation go any further. Or, even give a man her number. If a man wants this type of lady, he'll have to follow her requirements or follow the yellow brick road all the way to the exit sign because she's done with games and isn't interested in playing. Nice try, but all you get are parting gifts, Romeo!
Men respect standards...GET SOME! No need to explain this. It's very cut and dry. While men appreciate it when women let them know what they require in a relationship, I also believe women need to step back and let a man show her what he's made of. Basically, prove that he's worthy of your time. Let a man show you what he's willing to do for you. I think you'll be surprised at the outcome!!
I could go on and on and on, but I won't. As I said before, it's not rocket science. Men are simple. Some women (like myself) like to complicate things. If a guy likes you, he'll let you know. He'll call. He'll text. He'll go out of his way to tell you he likes you. If a guy treats you as if he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. This is where MOST women need help. I say this because I've been one of "those" girls. I've met my fair share of some interesting men. I've heard all the lines. I could write a book. I made excuses for them. Oh, maybe he's playing hard to get. I'm sure he's just lost my number. Maybe he was taken out to the woods and eaten by a bear. The list goes on and on. It's taken me a LONG time to change my way of thinking. Believe me, I had to have A LOT of talks with myself. I used to think it was a reflection on me. Oh, if I just lost 20 more pounds, he'll like me. I'll just drink three more beers to loosen up and he'll surely come sit by me. Yes, it's crazy, but I think more women are like this and don't want to admit it. I fell for it all, hook, line and sinker. When a girl doesn't think too highly of herself, it's quite easy to get fooled by a man.
Let me make something very clear...THIS IS NOT A MAN-BASHING BLOG. It's simply my thoughts as I learned them from a very good book. I think I finally understand how it works. Women need to have some self-respect. We should make men work for what they want. Don't make it so easy. If he gets the cookie up front, he'll run and go find someone else who'll give him more of the cookie. Maybe even a better batch. In that case, forget him! Now you know he was only out for a good time. These are the types of men who only want the "sports fish" and not someone that, ten years from now, will be a part of his family portrait hanging on the wall. Declare it "HIS LOSS" and go flaunt yourself to someone who will work for your time and attention. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those men. It's just not right for a girl who's looking for a long-lasting relationship.
One of my favorite sayings is the following:
"THOSE WHO LIKE ME, RAISE YOUR HAND. THOSE WHO DON'T, RAISE YOUR STANDARDS".
Ladies, life is hard. Don't complicate it by hanging on to guys who only want the cookie. Run away from Cookie Monster, make a list of your requirements, then go find a man who's willing to work for it. After all, men aren't gonna buy the cow when they can get the milk (and cookies) for free!!!
Happy searching. Dating is hard. It's even harder when you think Romeo has actually been eaten by that bear! :)
Great...now I want an OREO!!
Men are simple creatures. Ladies, repeat this to yourselves every single second of every single day. It's not rocket science (although, for the last 18 years, I thought otherwise). Men are driven by three things...who they are, what they do and how much they make. Seems easy enough. Until all three goals are accomplished, you can forget about getting that guy in line behind you at McDonald's to ever focus on you. Or, me.
Men don't love like women. Never have, never will. A woman's love is compassionate, generous, kind, nurturing, sweet and unconditional. If a woman loves a man, she'll walk on water for him, no matter how he's acted act, the crazy thing he's said or done or no matter the time or demand. Basically, a woman's love stands the test of time and logic. A man? Well, don't expect any of the above. If you do, you're in for a rude awakening. A man's love is very simple, direct and probably a lot harder to come by. Let's be honest, a man who loves a woman is not going to call her every thirty minutes to give her an update on how much he loves her. He's not going to sit around and dote on her every word or whisper sweet nothings in her ear. I learned that a man's love is simple and he'll do each of the following three things to show his love: Profess, Provide and Protect. He'll tell anyone he meets. He'll bring home the bacon to make sure his woman is provided for in the best way. He'll do his best to make sure that no one does anything even remotely offensive to his woman. This is how a man loves. Plain and simple. I'll let you down easy and just tell you now...he may never go shopping with you to buy a new dress, but he'll escort to the party and make sure everyone in attendance knows your his woman!!
Did you know that all men want to sleep with you? If a man likes what he sees, he's gonna make it his mission to find out how he can sleep with you. When a man approaches you, he has an agenda. He want something and that "something" is what Steve Harvey referred to as the "cookie". And, I don't think he was talkin' about Oreos!!! That's right...all men want sex. When you know that up front, then you can cut all the chitchat and lay down your requirements. If he's willing to put in the time and work, he'll call. Otherwise, you know he was just in it for the "cookie". Those men? Yeah, forget about them. They're just out for a good time. Stop thinking it's a reflection on you, because it's not! One of my favorite sayings is this...IT'S HIS LOSS! Repeat that to yourself and roll on.
I also learned there are two types of women. Sports Fish vs. Keepers. Or, what most of us refer to as Sluts vs. Saints. A sports fish doesn't have any rules, requirements, self-respect or guidelines. Men can pick up that scent a mile away. You might know her as the party girl who will chug a beer, then announce to a potential mate that she "just wants to date and see how it goes". She's not a relationship kind of gal and has no expectations. She makes it very clear up front that she's just along for the ride, so to speak. In essence, she's let the man know that he can treat her any way he'd like. And, believe me, he'll do just that. Why wouldn't ALL men run and sign up for that!?!?! A keeper never gives in easily and the requirements start the minute the man opens his mouth. She is powerful and she commands respect. Men can bring their "A" game and, while she might be somewhat impressed with the lines men give her, there's no guarantee she's going to let the conversation go any further. Or, even give a man her number. If a man wants this type of lady, he'll have to follow her requirements or follow the yellow brick road all the way to the exit sign because she's done with games and isn't interested in playing. Nice try, but all you get are parting gifts, Romeo!
Men respect standards...GET SOME! No need to explain this. It's very cut and dry. While men appreciate it when women let them know what they require in a relationship, I also believe women need to step back and let a man show her what he's made of. Basically, prove that he's worthy of your time. Let a man show you what he's willing to do for you. I think you'll be surprised at the outcome!!
I could go on and on and on, but I won't. As I said before, it's not rocket science. Men are simple. Some women (like myself) like to complicate things. If a guy likes you, he'll let you know. He'll call. He'll text. He'll go out of his way to tell you he likes you. If a guy treats you as if he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. This is where MOST women need help. I say this because I've been one of "those" girls. I've met my fair share of some interesting men. I've heard all the lines. I could write a book. I made excuses for them. Oh, maybe he's playing hard to get. I'm sure he's just lost my number. Maybe he was taken out to the woods and eaten by a bear. The list goes on and on. It's taken me a LONG time to change my way of thinking. Believe me, I had to have A LOT of talks with myself. I used to think it was a reflection on me. Oh, if I just lost 20 more pounds, he'll like me. I'll just drink three more beers to loosen up and he'll surely come sit by me. Yes, it's crazy, but I think more women are like this and don't want to admit it. I fell for it all, hook, line and sinker. When a girl doesn't think too highly of herself, it's quite easy to get fooled by a man.
Let me make something very clear...THIS IS NOT A MAN-BASHING BLOG. It's simply my thoughts as I learned them from a very good book. I think I finally understand how it works. Women need to have some self-respect. We should make men work for what they want. Don't make it so easy. If he gets the cookie up front, he'll run and go find someone else who'll give him more of the cookie. Maybe even a better batch. In that case, forget him! Now you know he was only out for a good time. These are the types of men who only want the "sports fish" and not someone that, ten years from now, will be a part of his family portrait hanging on the wall. Declare it "HIS LOSS" and go flaunt yourself to someone who will work for your time and attention. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those men. It's just not right for a girl who's looking for a long-lasting relationship.
One of my favorite sayings is the following:
"THOSE WHO LIKE ME, RAISE YOUR HAND. THOSE WHO DON'T, RAISE YOUR STANDARDS".
Ladies, life is hard. Don't complicate it by hanging on to guys who only want the cookie. Run away from Cookie Monster, make a list of your requirements, then go find a man who's willing to work for it. After all, men aren't gonna buy the cow when they can get the milk (and cookies) for free!!!
Happy searching. Dating is hard. It's even harder when you think Romeo has actually been eaten by that bear! :)
Great...now I want an OREO!!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Four Seasons and 365 Days Later...
Wow, I can't believe it's been three months since my last blog post. So much has happened over the last 365 days, I might as well write it all down...the good, the bad and the down-right ridiculous! Fasten your seatbelts...it's gonna be a somewhat bumpy ride down memory lane!
January: The start of every new year. The month that seems to never end. The month with snow and depression levels through the roof. However, this month seemed different. I was happy, I was spending time with a very special member of the opposite sex and life was good. At least that's what I was telling myself. Wow, 2011 was beginning on a good note. Even though it was cold, the wind was fierce and snow was falling, I was excited for what this year had in store. Little did I know, the bottom would fall out.
February: The month of red, cupid and love. Someone really needs to just wipe this month from the Roman calender and save us from the awkward moments of not having dates and feeling lonely, desperate and angry. Remember that guy from January? Well, he ran away from me faster than Usain Bolt in the 2008 Summer Olympics. I should've seen it coming, but I didn't. Maybe I didn't want to see it. At any rate, this month was not kind to me. It didn't help matters that I work nights, never see the sun and had just been left to wonder why? Why was I not good enough? Keep reading, I promise this sob story has a happy ending!
March: At last...small glimpses of the sun and the restoration of my sanity! After wanting to spend every waking moment in my house during the month of cupid, I vowed that life was still amazing and that I needed to go out and experience it! Besides, no one really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. I was trying to convince myself of this...some days were better than others. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do well and that was work. My thought was that, if I just worked all the time, I wouldn't have to think about the disappointments of the year thus far.
April: Like the flowers in Spring, I was beginning to show signs of life again. It's amazing what motivates you when you think you are at your lowest point. I had had enough and I vowed right then and there, I needed to do something to pull me out of my "Winter Coma". I had heard about the "Couch to 5K" program but didn't have much hope that I could do it. So, I researched. I scoured the internet. I talked to people who had graduated from the program. Maybe I could do the impossible. The unthinkable. April became known as the month that I decided to try running. After the first day, I thought I was going to die. Yep, right there in the gym. On the treadmill. After only 30 seconds of "running", I thought my life was coming to an end. My face was red, my clothes were soaked in sweat and I was panting. Sort of like when a woman is trying to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon, except there was no bundle of joy at the end. All I wanted to do was pass out, walk out the door and give up. But, somehow I kept pushing and, by the end of this pivotal month, I was actually looking forward to hitting the treadmill and continuing with a program that would ultimately be the biggest lifesaver for me in 2011.
May: I kept running. Just like Forrest Gump.
June: Surprise! Still running.
July: A trip to Cancun was on the agenda and I was anxious, excited and nervous all in one. I'm not exactly a big fan of flying, but it's really the only way to get to the beaches of Mexico! So, I sucked it up, took a Dramamine and prayed for safe travels south of the border. Wow, what a vacation! I've never seen water so beautiful, so clean, so aqua!! If you've never been there, GO! I was fortunate enough to experience this vacation with three fabulous friends! And, we had the time of our lives! I continue to be thankful that I was able to go on such a wonderful vacation to one of THE most beautiful places on this great Earth!
August: The month of Schweizer Fest. I had finished the "Couch to 5K program" a few weeks prior and was really proud of making until the end. Somehow, I had become addicted to running. If I missed a day, I was bummed. Could I really call myself a runner? I started to search for races. Why not? After running the SF 2-mile road run faster than what I had last year, I was on cloud nine! I found a 10K in French Lick and thought that I could do that. With the help of a great running partner, we started to train.
September: The month of the 10K. That's 6.2 miles for those of you not familiar with running. How bad could it be, right? Ha! So, the race organizers failed to mention the 10K route was HILLY. A half-mile in, I was mad...maybe that was an understatement! I wanted to quit, roll myself down Mt. Everest (at least that's what it felt like!) and go home. How dare they not mention it wasn't all flat!! With the help of a wonderful inspirational running friend, I dug deep. No, it wasn't pretty and there were several moments when I had to stop and walk, but I crossed the finish line in 1:22.53. Not exactly lightning fast, but I felt like I had just won the race of a lifetime!
October: The month of Halloween candy and dressing up in as little clothes as possible. I had become good friends with some nurses at work and we decided to dress up as sexy football players. I had my hair curled sort of like Shirley Temple, lathered myself with butter and slid into my outfit. I'm not sure Troy will ever be the same after that night. All in all, good times with great friends!
November: The month of gobble, gobble and stuffing as many carbs as humanly possible inside my body. Also, the month of a fun trip to PCB! The only thing I can say about this trip is it was A LOT of fun. But, what happens in Panama City Beach stays in Panama City Beach! This was also the month I fell off the wagon...the running wagon! I had lost my ability to be excited it. It hurt. It wasn't fun. So, I quit.
December: Christmas, which just so happens to be my brithday. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Work kept me busy. Apparently, sickness doesn't stop for anything. I worked a lot of OT during December. What can I say? I can't say NO! December's the time for gatherings with old friends, being thankful for surviving yet another year and being grateful...for everything! Santa, thanks for including me on the "NICE" list for 2011! Also, many thanks to December and a great friend for getting me back to that big lifesaver earlier in the year! Slowly, but surely, I'm back to running and I've never felt so good. Since August, I've lost about 20 lbs. and I feel like a new woman!! Look out, world!!
Here we are. The last day of 2011. As I think back over the last 365 days, I find myself feeling all the emotions over again. The happiness. The sadness. The nervousness. The anxiousness. Every single second of this year has brought me to this place. This time. It's made me who I am. And, I'm excited to say I MADE IT! It was touch and go for a few months, but I'm back and better than ever! I am hopeful that 2012 will be even better than 2011. I have discovered a lot about myself. I learned that it's not the end of the world if the person you like doesn't like you back. I learned that some people just aren't worth your time and energy. I learned that I do deserve to be happy and that, sometimes, you find it where you least expect it. I learned that you can't always get what you want. But, if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need. I learned that everything happens for a reason and it may take you a long time to see the silver lining and learn the lessons. I learned that God brings people into your life for many different reasons. Some hurt you, some help you and some make you a better person. I learned to trust my judgment and that, if something or someone seems too good to be true, it or he/she probably is just that. I learned that bad things happen to good people and vice versa. I learned that I am a really good nurse and actually know what I'm talking about from time to time. I learned that, even though I get paid to "fix" people at work, I can't always do the same in my normal, everyday life. I learned that I am quite a catch, as evident by the fact that, in one night, I was close to getting asked out on three dates. I learned that I can do anything that I want, especially run! I learned that life goes on, even after heartache. I learned that there's someone out there for me and that it will happen when I least expect it. Finally, I learned that I learned A LOT this year and hope the same continues in the upcoming year.
As Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it". How true! Take a moment and think back on this year. Be grateful and thankful for being alive and being able to experience it all...the good, the bad and the downright ridiculous!
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is you. Here's to a wonderful 2011. Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! Be careful, be good and may all your dreams and resolutions come true in 2012!!I
Now, where's the wine? :)
January: The start of every new year. The month that seems to never end. The month with snow and depression levels through the roof. However, this month seemed different. I was happy, I was spending time with a very special member of the opposite sex and life was good. At least that's what I was telling myself. Wow, 2011 was beginning on a good note. Even though it was cold, the wind was fierce and snow was falling, I was excited for what this year had in store. Little did I know, the bottom would fall out.
February: The month of red, cupid and love. Someone really needs to just wipe this month from the Roman calender and save us from the awkward moments of not having dates and feeling lonely, desperate and angry. Remember that guy from January? Well, he ran away from me faster than Usain Bolt in the 2008 Summer Olympics. I should've seen it coming, but I didn't. Maybe I didn't want to see it. At any rate, this month was not kind to me. It didn't help matters that I work nights, never see the sun and had just been left to wonder why? Why was I not good enough? Keep reading, I promise this sob story has a happy ending!
March: At last...small glimpses of the sun and the restoration of my sanity! After wanting to spend every waking moment in my house during the month of cupid, I vowed that life was still amazing and that I needed to go out and experience it! Besides, no one really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. I was trying to convince myself of this...some days were better than others. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do well and that was work. My thought was that, if I just worked all the time, I wouldn't have to think about the disappointments of the year thus far.
April: Like the flowers in Spring, I was beginning to show signs of life again. It's amazing what motivates you when you think you are at your lowest point. I had had enough and I vowed right then and there, I needed to do something to pull me out of my "Winter Coma". I had heard about the "Couch to 5K" program but didn't have much hope that I could do it. So, I researched. I scoured the internet. I talked to people who had graduated from the program. Maybe I could do the impossible. The unthinkable. April became known as the month that I decided to try running. After the first day, I thought I was going to die. Yep, right there in the gym. On the treadmill. After only 30 seconds of "running", I thought my life was coming to an end. My face was red, my clothes were soaked in sweat and I was panting. Sort of like when a woman is trying to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon, except there was no bundle of joy at the end. All I wanted to do was pass out, walk out the door and give up. But, somehow I kept pushing and, by the end of this pivotal month, I was actually looking forward to hitting the treadmill and continuing with a program that would ultimately be the biggest lifesaver for me in 2011.
May: I kept running. Just like Forrest Gump.
June: Surprise! Still running.
July: A trip to Cancun was on the agenda and I was anxious, excited and nervous all in one. I'm not exactly a big fan of flying, but it's really the only way to get to the beaches of Mexico! So, I sucked it up, took a Dramamine and prayed for safe travels south of the border. Wow, what a vacation! I've never seen water so beautiful, so clean, so aqua!! If you've never been there, GO! I was fortunate enough to experience this vacation with three fabulous friends! And, we had the time of our lives! I continue to be thankful that I was able to go on such a wonderful vacation to one of THE most beautiful places on this great Earth!
August: The month of Schweizer Fest. I had finished the "Couch to 5K program" a few weeks prior and was really proud of making until the end. Somehow, I had become addicted to running. If I missed a day, I was bummed. Could I really call myself a runner? I started to search for races. Why not? After running the SF 2-mile road run faster than what I had last year, I was on cloud nine! I found a 10K in French Lick and thought that I could do that. With the help of a great running partner, we started to train.
September: The month of the 10K. That's 6.2 miles for those of you not familiar with running. How bad could it be, right? Ha! So, the race organizers failed to mention the 10K route was HILLY. A half-mile in, I was mad...maybe that was an understatement! I wanted to quit, roll myself down Mt. Everest (at least that's what it felt like!) and go home. How dare they not mention it wasn't all flat!! With the help of a wonderful inspirational running friend, I dug deep. No, it wasn't pretty and there were several moments when I had to stop and walk, but I crossed the finish line in 1:22.53. Not exactly lightning fast, but I felt like I had just won the race of a lifetime!
October: The month of Halloween candy and dressing up in as little clothes as possible. I had become good friends with some nurses at work and we decided to dress up as sexy football players. I had my hair curled sort of like Shirley Temple, lathered myself with butter and slid into my outfit. I'm not sure Troy will ever be the same after that night. All in all, good times with great friends!
November: The month of gobble, gobble and stuffing as many carbs as humanly possible inside my body. Also, the month of a fun trip to PCB! The only thing I can say about this trip is it was A LOT of fun. But, what happens in Panama City Beach stays in Panama City Beach! This was also the month I fell off the wagon...the running wagon! I had lost my ability to be excited it. It hurt. It wasn't fun. So, I quit.
December: Christmas, which just so happens to be my brithday. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Work kept me busy. Apparently, sickness doesn't stop for anything. I worked a lot of OT during December. What can I say? I can't say NO! December's the time for gatherings with old friends, being thankful for surviving yet another year and being grateful...for everything! Santa, thanks for including me on the "NICE" list for 2011! Also, many thanks to December and a great friend for getting me back to that big lifesaver earlier in the year! Slowly, but surely, I'm back to running and I've never felt so good. Since August, I've lost about 20 lbs. and I feel like a new woman!! Look out, world!!
Here we are. The last day of 2011. As I think back over the last 365 days, I find myself feeling all the emotions over again. The happiness. The sadness. The nervousness. The anxiousness. Every single second of this year has brought me to this place. This time. It's made me who I am. And, I'm excited to say I MADE IT! It was touch and go for a few months, but I'm back and better than ever! I am hopeful that 2012 will be even better than 2011. I have discovered a lot about myself. I learned that it's not the end of the world if the person you like doesn't like you back. I learned that some people just aren't worth your time and energy. I learned that I do deserve to be happy and that, sometimes, you find it where you least expect it. I learned that you can't always get what you want. But, if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need. I learned that everything happens for a reason and it may take you a long time to see the silver lining and learn the lessons. I learned that God brings people into your life for many different reasons. Some hurt you, some help you and some make you a better person. I learned to trust my judgment and that, if something or someone seems too good to be true, it or he/she probably is just that. I learned that bad things happen to good people and vice versa. I learned that I am a really good nurse and actually know what I'm talking about from time to time. I learned that, even though I get paid to "fix" people at work, I can't always do the same in my normal, everyday life. I learned that I am quite a catch, as evident by the fact that, in one night, I was close to getting asked out on three dates. I learned that I can do anything that I want, especially run! I learned that life goes on, even after heartache. I learned that there's someone out there for me and that it will happen when I least expect it. Finally, I learned that I learned A LOT this year and hope the same continues in the upcoming year.
As Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it". How true! Take a moment and think back on this year. Be grateful and thankful for being alive and being able to experience it all...the good, the bad and the downright ridiculous!
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is you. Here's to a wonderful 2011. Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! Be careful, be good and may all your dreams and resolutions come true in 2012!!I
Now, where's the wine? :)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Even Jesus Loves TURTLES ♥
As long as I can remember, I've never been good at resting up the night before anything I considered "big". Christmas Eve, forget sleep. The night before my nursing boards, forget sleep. The night before my very first 10K, forget sleep! I had every intention of going to bed at a decent hour, but Facebook sometimes gets in the way of my good intentions! At any rate, I was wide awake at 0400 on Saturday morning. I woke up in a panic, mostly because I was afraid I'd sleep right through my alarm. Yesterday was the first test for me. The test to see if I was actually a runner. Sure, I had been training for several months. Sure, I had run the SF Road Run. But, this was going to be the moment I was going to know, once and for all, if I could do this. If I could "run with the big dogs", so to speak. I was getting ready to tackle my longest run to date. And, I was nervous. Like, "so nervous I could puke" nervous. I was anxious. Scared. Excited. Nervous. I had so many emotions welling up inside me. Needless to say, I was ready to get the run over with and quick.
I followed my usual pre-run routine and consumed a good breakfast. I laced up my sneakers and said a prayer. I headed out the door to meet my friend, Amy, at her house. She had graciously agreed to drive. At the early hour of 0545 (still dark outside!), we left TC for the town of French Lick. Rain slowly fell on the windows and I was uncertain about the day. I had never run in rain. I didn't know how to mentally prepare for any condition other than a sunny day. Crap! I could feel the butterflies flying around my stomach. As we got closer to our destination, this was all becoming real to me. There was no backing out now. We were getting closer to our 6.2 mile adventure. And, I was in desperate need of a paper bag. I felt like I could vomit, and I didn't want to get Amy's seats dirty!
Finally, after a 45 minute drive, I saw the French Lick Casino through the front windshield. For the first time, it seemed twice as big as I remember. My heart started to race. I needed to catch my breath. I was telling myself, "breath in, breath out". After all, it's JUST 6.2 miles, right? Right. One step at a time. We picked up our t-shirts, visited the bathroom countless times, laid on the floor of the resort to stretch our bodies and waited. And, waited. The waiting was pure torture! I wanted to start. NOW! Waiting just made me doubt myself and my abilities. That "lying slut", whom I thought I had left at home, decided to show up and start mouthing. "Emily, you are completely ridiculous. You can't do this". I was cussing her, but she wouldn't shut up. At that moment, the sun started to peek out from behind a cloud. After all, God had to get a front row seat for this event! Luckily, my parents showed up just in time to wish me luck and see Amy and I start the race. We took off and I felt great. Piece of cake, right? In our minds (according to what we had read), the course was flat. And, fast. A great combination. Well, what they failed to mention was that the 5K course was FLAT. NOT the 10K course. About a mile into the race, I noticed that the road was gradually going up. Hmm, maybe people in French Lick don't know the difference between flat and hilly. As we got farther into the race, the road kept getting higher and higher. WTF? Suddenly, I stopped. I wanted to flag down the first car and high-tail it out of this town. Flat my ass! I started chanting "French Liars". Amy kept saying, "Keep going. You've come too far to give up now". My legs were aching. More than they ever had before. My mind wandered to all those people that were probably wishing for me to fail. That "lying slut" started talking to me again. "See? I told you so. Give up. You are not a runner. What are you doing?". That's when I dug deep. This hill was not going to defeat me. So, I started running again. Then, the hill got even higher. Crap, I stopped. I started walking. What was I doing? This was a running race? Not a walking race. I didn't pay to walk. I hadn't trained to walk. So, with MUCH encouragement from Amy, I ran. And, I ran. And, I ran. Finally, what goes up must come down. And, down we went. When you are clumsy, going downhill at a pretty fast pace is not a very good idea. But, I kept on going, thinking that, if I fell, at least I was out there. I had seen an ambulance at the start of the race. Surely, all the cops along the route would radio them and they would come rescue me.
After realizing that I might need medical attention, I started that dreaded walking again. We were knee-deep in the woods of French Lick. Hell, I hated this town. I hated these people for lying. I hated myself for walking. I hated the fact that I doubted myself. After walking about five min a total of three times, I found the will to speed it up. Mostly, because Amy told me, "Get moving. You can hate me now and love me later when we're done". Minutes later, I looked down and saw the "mile 5" marker. Holy shit! Only 1.2 miles to go. Amy was doing her best to distract me from thinking too much. Talking to me, telling me I could do this. Telling me were were almost there. Doing everything she could to keep my body moving. Around this time, we saw a cop along the side of the road, listening to his scanner. I could hear someone on the other end saying something about how a few walkers were still on the course. Um, no. I'm a runner. So, I started running again. There was a guy behind us, in awe of what he had heard, too. When he caught up to us, he said, "well, I guess that means we have to finish.". He looked tired. A few seconds later, he actually told us he had run the 5K, too. Show off.
After what felt like hours, I could see the resort in the distance. At mile marker 6, I was running on empty. I had already surpassed my longest run to date. I stopped. I could hear that voice again. Yes, two-tenths away from the finish line and I was about to give up. I had nothing left. That's when Amy said, "think of all those people cheering you on at home, praying for you, sending you good vibes". That's right. I had a fan club and I couldn't let them down. So, I ran. I ran fast. And, I ran right to that damn finish line! I could hear the cheers of the crowd, most of whom had no idea of my journey to this point. They didn't care. Most of them had already finished long before I did. But, they were there cheering me on like I had just won the Boston Marathon. My mom was snapping pics at the finish line, as was a college friend, whom I hadn't seen in years! My time? 1:22.53. Probably not impressive by most people's standards, but it was a HUGE victory for me. I finished.
Throughout my 6.2 mile journey yesterday, I learned A LOT! I learned that I can do anything. I learned that a little sweat never killed anyone. I learned that I am unstoppable. I'll never be the fastest runner out there, but at least I'm out there. Giving it all I've got. Leaving it all on the pavement. I also learned that Amy and I should really going into the "inspirational and funny quotes for t-shirts" business. We came up with some good ones! One of the best? "EVEN JESUS LOVES TURTLES".
So, maybe I'm a turtle. Oh well. In my dreams, I run like a Kenyan :)
"Whether it's a 14 minute mile or a seven minute, at least it's a mile" ~
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