Wow, I can't believe it's been three months since my last blog post. So much has happened over the last 365 days, I might as well write it all down...the good, the bad and the down-right ridiculous! Fasten your seatbelts...it's gonna be a somewhat bumpy ride down memory lane!
January: The start of every new year. The month that seems to never end. The month with snow and depression levels through the roof. However, this month seemed different. I was happy, I was spending time with a very special member of the opposite sex and life was good. At least that's what I was telling myself. Wow, 2011 was beginning on a good note. Even though it was cold, the wind was fierce and snow was falling, I was excited for what this year had in store. Little did I know, the bottom would fall out.
February: The month of red, cupid and love. Someone really needs to just wipe this month from the Roman calender and save us from the awkward moments of not having dates and feeling lonely, desperate and angry. Remember that guy from January? Well, he ran away from me faster than Usain Bolt in the 2008 Summer Olympics. I should've seen it coming, but I didn't. Maybe I didn't want to see it. At any rate, this month was not kind to me. It didn't help matters that I work nights, never see the sun and had just been left to wonder why? Why was I not good enough? Keep reading, I promise this sob story has a happy ending!
March: At last...small glimpses of the sun and the restoration of my sanity! After wanting to spend every waking moment in my house during the month of cupid, I vowed that life was still amazing and that I needed to go out and experience it! Besides, no one really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. I was trying to convince myself of this...some days were better than others. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do well and that was work. My thought was that, if I just worked all the time, I wouldn't have to think about the disappointments of the year thus far.
April: Like the flowers in Spring, I was beginning to show signs of life again. It's amazing what motivates you when you think you are at your lowest point. I had had enough and I vowed right then and there, I needed to do something to pull me out of my "Winter Coma". I had heard about the "Couch to 5K" program but didn't have much hope that I could do it. So, I researched. I scoured the internet. I talked to people who had graduated from the program. Maybe I could do the impossible. The unthinkable. April became known as the month that I decided to try running. After the first day, I thought I was going to die. Yep, right there in the gym. On the treadmill. After only 30 seconds of "running", I thought my life was coming to an end. My face was red, my clothes were soaked in sweat and I was panting. Sort of like when a woman is trying to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon, except there was no bundle of joy at the end. All I wanted to do was pass out, walk out the door and give up. But, somehow I kept pushing and, by the end of this pivotal month, I was actually looking forward to hitting the treadmill and continuing with a program that would ultimately be the biggest lifesaver for me in 2011.
May: I kept running. Just like Forrest Gump.
June: Surprise! Still running.
July: A trip to Cancun was on the agenda and I was anxious, excited and nervous all in one. I'm not exactly a big fan of flying, but it's really the only way to get to the beaches of Mexico! So, I sucked it up, took a Dramamine and prayed for safe travels south of the border. Wow, what a vacation! I've never seen water so beautiful, so clean, so aqua!! If you've never been there, GO! I was fortunate enough to experience this vacation with three fabulous friends! And, we had the time of our lives! I continue to be thankful that I was able to go on such a wonderful vacation to one of THE most beautiful places on this great Earth!
August: The month of Schweizer Fest. I had finished the "Couch to 5K program" a few weeks prior and was really proud of making until the end. Somehow, I had become addicted to running. If I missed a day, I was bummed. Could I really call myself a runner? I started to search for races. Why not? After running the SF 2-mile road run faster than what I had last year, I was on cloud nine! I found a 10K in French Lick and thought that I could do that. With the help of a great running partner, we started to train.
September: The month of the 10K. That's 6.2 miles for those of you not familiar with running. How bad could it be, right? Ha! So, the race organizers failed to mention the 10K route was HILLY. A half-mile in, I was mad...maybe that was an understatement! I wanted to quit, roll myself down Mt. Everest (at least that's what it felt like!) and go home. How dare they not mention it wasn't all flat!! With the help of a wonderful inspirational running friend, I dug deep. No, it wasn't pretty and there were several moments when I had to stop and walk, but I crossed the finish line in 1:22.53. Not exactly lightning fast, but I felt like I had just won the race of a lifetime!
October: The month of Halloween candy and dressing up in as little clothes as possible. I had become good friends with some nurses at work and we decided to dress up as sexy football players. I had my hair curled sort of like Shirley Temple, lathered myself with butter and slid into my outfit. I'm not sure Troy will ever be the same after that night. All in all, good times with great friends!
November: The month of gobble, gobble and stuffing as many carbs as humanly possible inside my body. Also, the month of a fun trip to PCB! The only thing I can say about this trip is it was A LOT of fun. But, what happens in Panama City Beach stays in Panama City Beach! This was also the month I fell off the wagon...the running wagon! I had lost my ability to be excited it. It hurt. It wasn't fun. So, I quit.
December: Christmas, which just so happens to be my brithday. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Work kept me busy. Apparently, sickness doesn't stop for anything. I worked a lot of OT during December. What can I say? I can't say NO! December's the time for gatherings with old friends, being thankful for surviving yet another year and being grateful...for everything! Santa, thanks for including me on the "NICE" list for 2011! Also, many thanks to December and a great friend for getting me back to that big lifesaver earlier in the year! Slowly, but surely, I'm back to running and I've never felt so good. Since August, I've lost about 20 lbs. and I feel like a new woman!! Look out, world!!
Here we are. The last day of 2011. As I think back over the last 365 days, I find myself feeling all the emotions over again. The happiness. The sadness. The nervousness. The anxiousness. Every single second of this year has brought me to this place. This time. It's made me who I am. And, I'm excited to say I MADE IT! It was touch and go for a few months, but I'm back and better than ever! I am hopeful that 2012 will be even better than 2011. I have discovered a lot about myself. I learned that it's not the end of the world if the person you like doesn't like you back. I learned that some people just aren't worth your time and energy. I learned that I do deserve to be happy and that, sometimes, you find it where you least expect it. I learned that you can't always get what you want. But, if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need. I learned that everything happens for a reason and it may take you a long time to see the silver lining and learn the lessons. I learned that God brings people into your life for many different reasons. Some hurt you, some help you and some make you a better person. I learned to trust my judgment and that, if something or someone seems too good to be true, it or he/she probably is just that. I learned that bad things happen to good people and vice versa. I learned that I am a really good nurse and actually know what I'm talking about from time to time. I learned that, even though I get paid to "fix" people at work, I can't always do the same in my normal, everyday life. I learned that I am quite a catch, as evident by the fact that, in one night, I was close to getting asked out on three dates. I learned that I can do anything that I want, especially run! I learned that life goes on, even after heartache. I learned that there's someone out there for me and that it will happen when I least expect it. Finally, I learned that I learned A LOT this year and hope the same continues in the upcoming year.
As Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it". How true! Take a moment and think back on this year. Be grateful and thankful for being alive and being able to experience it all...the good, the bad and the downright ridiculous!
Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is you. Here's to a wonderful 2011. Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! Be careful, be good and may all your dreams and resolutions come true in 2012!!I
Now, where's the wine? :)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Even Jesus Loves TURTLES ♥
As long as I can remember, I've never been good at resting up the night before anything I considered "big". Christmas Eve, forget sleep. The night before my nursing boards, forget sleep. The night before my very first 10K, forget sleep! I had every intention of going to bed at a decent hour, but Facebook sometimes gets in the way of my good intentions! At any rate, I was wide awake at 0400 on Saturday morning. I woke up in a panic, mostly because I was afraid I'd sleep right through my alarm. Yesterday was the first test for me. The test to see if I was actually a runner. Sure, I had been training for several months. Sure, I had run the SF Road Run. But, this was going to be the moment I was going to know, once and for all, if I could do this. If I could "run with the big dogs", so to speak. I was getting ready to tackle my longest run to date. And, I was nervous. Like, "so nervous I could puke" nervous. I was anxious. Scared. Excited. Nervous. I had so many emotions welling up inside me. Needless to say, I was ready to get the run over with and quick.
I followed my usual pre-run routine and consumed a good breakfast. I laced up my sneakers and said a prayer. I headed out the door to meet my friend, Amy, at her house. She had graciously agreed to drive. At the early hour of 0545 (still dark outside!), we left TC for the town of French Lick. Rain slowly fell on the windows and I was uncertain about the day. I had never run in rain. I didn't know how to mentally prepare for any condition other than a sunny day. Crap! I could feel the butterflies flying around my stomach. As we got closer to our destination, this was all becoming real to me. There was no backing out now. We were getting closer to our 6.2 mile adventure. And, I was in desperate need of a paper bag. I felt like I could vomit, and I didn't want to get Amy's seats dirty!
Finally, after a 45 minute drive, I saw the French Lick Casino through the front windshield. For the first time, it seemed twice as big as I remember. My heart started to race. I needed to catch my breath. I was telling myself, "breath in, breath out". After all, it's JUST 6.2 miles, right? Right. One step at a time. We picked up our t-shirts, visited the bathroom countless times, laid on the floor of the resort to stretch our bodies and waited. And, waited. The waiting was pure torture! I wanted to start. NOW! Waiting just made me doubt myself and my abilities. That "lying slut", whom I thought I had left at home, decided to show up and start mouthing. "Emily, you are completely ridiculous. You can't do this". I was cussing her, but she wouldn't shut up. At that moment, the sun started to peek out from behind a cloud. After all, God had to get a front row seat for this event! Luckily, my parents showed up just in time to wish me luck and see Amy and I start the race. We took off and I felt great. Piece of cake, right? In our minds (according to what we had read), the course was flat. And, fast. A great combination. Well, what they failed to mention was that the 5K course was FLAT. NOT the 10K course. About a mile into the race, I noticed that the road was gradually going up. Hmm, maybe people in French Lick don't know the difference between flat and hilly. As we got farther into the race, the road kept getting higher and higher. WTF? Suddenly, I stopped. I wanted to flag down the first car and high-tail it out of this town. Flat my ass! I started chanting "French Liars". Amy kept saying, "Keep going. You've come too far to give up now". My legs were aching. More than they ever had before. My mind wandered to all those people that were probably wishing for me to fail. That "lying slut" started talking to me again. "See? I told you so. Give up. You are not a runner. What are you doing?". That's when I dug deep. This hill was not going to defeat me. So, I started running again. Then, the hill got even higher. Crap, I stopped. I started walking. What was I doing? This was a running race? Not a walking race. I didn't pay to walk. I hadn't trained to walk. So, with MUCH encouragement from Amy, I ran. And, I ran. And, I ran. Finally, what goes up must come down. And, down we went. When you are clumsy, going downhill at a pretty fast pace is not a very good idea. But, I kept on going, thinking that, if I fell, at least I was out there. I had seen an ambulance at the start of the race. Surely, all the cops along the route would radio them and they would come rescue me.
After realizing that I might need medical attention, I started that dreaded walking again. We were knee-deep in the woods of French Lick. Hell, I hated this town. I hated these people for lying. I hated myself for walking. I hated the fact that I doubted myself. After walking about five min a total of three times, I found the will to speed it up. Mostly, because Amy told me, "Get moving. You can hate me now and love me later when we're done". Minutes later, I looked down and saw the "mile 5" marker. Holy shit! Only 1.2 miles to go. Amy was doing her best to distract me from thinking too much. Talking to me, telling me I could do this. Telling me were were almost there. Doing everything she could to keep my body moving. Around this time, we saw a cop along the side of the road, listening to his scanner. I could hear someone on the other end saying something about how a few walkers were still on the course. Um, no. I'm a runner. So, I started running again. There was a guy behind us, in awe of what he had heard, too. When he caught up to us, he said, "well, I guess that means we have to finish.". He looked tired. A few seconds later, he actually told us he had run the 5K, too. Show off.
After what felt like hours, I could see the resort in the distance. At mile marker 6, I was running on empty. I had already surpassed my longest run to date. I stopped. I could hear that voice again. Yes, two-tenths away from the finish line and I was about to give up. I had nothing left. That's when Amy said, "think of all those people cheering you on at home, praying for you, sending you good vibes". That's right. I had a fan club and I couldn't let them down. So, I ran. I ran fast. And, I ran right to that damn finish line! I could hear the cheers of the crowd, most of whom had no idea of my journey to this point. They didn't care. Most of them had already finished long before I did. But, they were there cheering me on like I had just won the Boston Marathon. My mom was snapping pics at the finish line, as was a college friend, whom I hadn't seen in years! My time? 1:22.53. Probably not impressive by most people's standards, but it was a HUGE victory for me. I finished.
Throughout my 6.2 mile journey yesterday, I learned A LOT! I learned that I can do anything. I learned that a little sweat never killed anyone. I learned that I am unstoppable. I'll never be the fastest runner out there, but at least I'm out there. Giving it all I've got. Leaving it all on the pavement. I also learned that Amy and I should really going into the "inspirational and funny quotes for t-shirts" business. We came up with some good ones! One of the best? "EVEN JESUS LOVES TURTLES".
So, maybe I'm a turtle. Oh well. In my dreams, I run like a Kenyan :)
"Whether it's a 14 minute mile or a seven minute, at least it's a mile" ~
Sunday, July 24, 2011
No offense, USA, but it's definitely HOTTER closer to the Equator :)
I'm not a writer. Never have been. Never will be. But, after my jaunt "South of the border" I feel compelled to write about it. No, I'm not trying to rub it in and play "I got to go to Mexico and you didn't" games. Rather, I want to share with you (maybe the whole two people that happen to read this) my experiences while they are all still swimming around in my head. I wish I could regurgitate every second, sound, smell from my vacation. Reading about my adventures and looking at the pictures, I feel, just doesn't do Mexico justice. But, I'll do my best to give it all the credit that it's due...
Monday, July 18th: This is the day we flew to Cancun. Better yet, this is "Doom's Day". Why, you ask? I'll tell ya. I've never been a big fan of flying. It's not so much the "good morning/afternoon/evening, ladies and gentlemen we have now reached our cruising altitude of 33,000 feet" part. It's the taking off part. Does anyone enjoy this? Probably those of you that like to go from zero to 700 miles per hour in two seconds. At least that's what it feels like to this chicken. I believe I'd rather have each individual eyebrow plucked than do that over and over again. At any rate, it comes with the territory and, thus, I deal with it. Well, maybe with the help of a little Meclizine. It's not the "ludicrous" speed to which the plane achieves. It's the overall feeling of weightlessness. Suddenly, the wheels go run and hide and the plane is now forced to carry the load of about 200 passengers. Kinda scary, in my opinion!! Once we reached the top of the world, I was distracted by the people, the sounds, the various languages been spoken. And, I sipped on my beverage while devouring a teeny-tiny bag of mini pretzels. Seriously, folks, update your snack selection. Surely, you can afford a bag of Cheetos! Long story short, DAY ONE ended with a safe flight and a gorgeous sunset landing in beautiful Mexico. We staked out the van that would take us to our resort after walking what felt like miles through the airport in Cancun. I took the advice of a coworker and did NOT make eye contact with many of the males in the airport. Apparently, doing so will possibly land you a date . Where, I don't know, but I'll bet it wasn't to our resort! After speeding through customs and security, we arrived safely to our resort, "Gran Caribe Real Resort and Spa". We were all ravenous, so we hurried to one of the restaurants and practically ate everything off the buffet, at least I felt like I did. Day one was nearing an end. My dogs were barking loudly. Armed with my memory foam eye shade, I drifted off into a blissful night's sleep, with visions of sand and water dancing in my head.
Tuesday, July 19th: Beach time! I was a little worried because the forecast I had studied religiously for the week we would be in Cancun said a chance of rain every single stinking day! Well, Tuesday started out to be proving me wrong on all accounts. Beautiful azure blue skies, a minimal amount of white, fluffy clouds and, of course, that big yellow ball in the sky. I don't know if any of you were aware of this fact, but Cancun is actually closer to the Equator than TC. And, let me tell you, you sure could feel it! The sun was HOT. No, make that scorching. Who in the world would want to lay out in weather like this? Oh wait, that'd be me. I OD'd on SPF 30 (Yes, I still took some of my dark tanning oil...I can already see the eye rolls!), grabbed a book and ran to the nearest beach chair I could find. Surprisingly, around 11 o'clock, not many people were found frolicking on the beach. A ha!, I thought, my chance to stake out a great locale. Naturally, I headed toward the chair directly below the sun. Catching some rays was happily interrupted by the sounds of me and my friends laughing, a quick lunch and dips in the ocean. Luckily, my skin didn't catch fire, although it was touch-and-go for a second. The only rough spot of day two? I forgot to put sunscreen on my pretty little face...oops! I justified that "oops" by thinking that, if nothing else, I could always be Rudolph's understudy. If he was unable, for any reason, to guide Santa's sleigh, his twin and first runner-up could step in and do the job. The day ended with a lovely dinner, followed by a walk through the makeshift flea market set up around the pool. Man, those people were pushy. One look at them and they pounced like a tiger hunting for prey. Yes, I fell victim. I spotted a pair of "Coach" sunglasses and practically got them for free. So what if they're probably knock-offs. They were $20. And, they were cute. Another plus about this day? A wonderful massage in the resort spa. I've never had a massage quite like it! It was definitely a well-deserved treat for all the knots in my back. Sixty minutes of absolute bliss.
Wednesday, July 20: Another beautiful day of sun and sand. Surely I would've learned my lesson about the intense heat of the day before...WRONG! There's something about the mix of sun, sand and ocean that causes me to lose all ability to think straight. I had to lay out. Again. There was no stopping me. How bad could it be, right? Well, little did I know that the sun was gonna have it in for me. Too bad I never took into account that all the sweat pouring off my body was also taking the sunscreen with it. Lesson learned. I felt like I was coating myself in sunscreen. My upper body thought otherwise. Ouch! Although not "lobster red", I did have a bit of a burn, but knew that it would most likely turn to turn in a day or so. I understand this isn't a good way to treat my skin. But, I guess we all have our vices. Mine just happens to be loving A LOT of sun exposure! This day repeated itself like the one before. Lots of laying out in between bites of food, swigs of water and another fabulous dinner. I love food. Almost as much as lounging by the ocean. On the menu on this particular night? Sushi and some yummy stir-fry, all consumed by the lovely ocean and a fabulous sunset. Had I died and gone to heaven? At that moment, I would've shouted a resounding "YES"! This day ended with a tattoo. No, not a real one. Henna. I tried to fool people, mainly my mother. Honestly, I have kinda wanted to see what all the hype was about with getting inked. Come on, though! If I wanted to get a tat, I would definitely NOT get my first one in Mexico! I think some people were fooled. Others? Not so much. The two men working the Henna station were unbelievably nice. We even ended up taking a few pics of them later in the trip and they wrote down their names on a napkin for the purpose of looking them up on facebook...ha! One of them even uttered the words "lucky bastards" after playing along and posing for some pics. I'm not lying, it was the only thing I heard him say the entire vacation when we visited them! He was our artist and did some amazing free-hand henna!
Thursday, July 21: Surprise...another day of sunscreen and laying out! Shocking, right? I had to. It was another gorgeous day and it's a pity to waste it not trying to become a "bronzed goddess"! The redness on my upper neck and my face was slowly, but surely, fading to a golden brown. I grabbed another book from the room and laid claim to a beach chair, positioned every-so strategically in the perfect spot for another round of sun-bathing. At that moment, I got a little teary. Watching the water lap upon the sand, hearing the sound of the waves crashing, looking out onto the vast array of water (the most beautiful I had ever seen) and taking in all my surroundings, I realized something. This opportunity might not come around again. I was in paradise! I had to pinch myself a time or two, feeling so blessed to be experiencing all of this with some amazing people. This moment of appreciation was followed by, you guessed it, another tasty dinner and another look through the flea market.
Friday, July 22: This day was a little less cooperative, in terms of weather. Clouds rolled in early in the morning, leaving behind a short sprinkle in its wake. It's amazing how fast that bout of bad weather came and went. The sun was attempting to peak its head out and so, since this was going to be my last opportunity, I headed out to my trusty old beach chair and listened to some tunes. This was the life. I was secretly plotting ways I could stay here forever. Surely, I thought, Cancun needed good nurses! Or, maybe I could get a job at the resort. I've always wanted to wear one of those big chef's hats. Not that I cook a lot, but I tried to convince myself I'd probably do a great job bossing everyone else around. Or, maybe I could dress up in the precious maid's dresses and clean the rooms. I do love to clean, you know! Friday night ended with another round of sushi and stir-fry and almost getting blown away during dinner. Another quick rain swept through and, while gorging myself, we all thought we might be swept away with the wind. Luckily, though, the wind didn't take us, or our yummy food, away!
Saturday, July 23: Check-out day. As much fun as I had with my friends, I was ready to get home to my own bed and back to my non-tropical existence. I took last-minute pics on my cell phone and said "Adios" to paradise. We were escorted back to the airport and boarded our flight for Nashville. We landed safely around 6:00 pm. Nothing like feeling the wheels of the plane touch down in the good old USA!
I will miss so many things about Mexico. I will miss the hospitality of the entire staff at the resort. Each and every person, from the first bell-hop that whisked our bags away, to the nice man that checked us out, I had no complaints. Everyone was so nice and friendly! No one was too pushy (I had read a few reviews about how they bug you to go listen to a time-share presentation). All we had to do was say we weren't interested and no more questions were asked. Another thing I will miss is the people-watching. There's nothing like it! Sit in one of the huge sofas in the lobby that might have been three times the size of my house, and you had an instant show. People of all nationalities muddled around, visited the lobby bar, or just sat and took in some of the best breezes around. Believe me, just sitting in the lobby for two seconds with the cool breeze touching my shoulder was enough to put a BIG smile on my face! I will also miss all the food. Food glorious food! It seemed there was food around every corner. I've never eaten so much food in my life! Breakfast usually consisted of fruit and yogurt with granola. I loved the yogurt and granola! So much so, I ate it every single day! The fruit was out of this world! It was all so fresh, so delicious! A light lunch was normally followed by a hearty dinner. Believe me, I will NEVER forget all the various kids of foods I ate. Insane!!
Now, I guess it's back to life, back to reality. Back to the everyday grind of work and working out. I worked out today for the first time in over a week and I definitely felt it! I did enough sweating just being outside in Cancun, I didn't really feel like adding more at the resort gym. Besides, vacation is meant to be relaxing and a break away from one's normal, hum-drum life. So, I left my sneakers at home and vowed the only "exercise" I engaged in would be walking to and from eating! If you've not had the opportunity to visit Cancun, I suggest you do. Start saving now! Like I said earlier, my pics just don't do the place justice. I always thought water that pure and blue was just a myth. Ha! No, it's real. And, it was right outside our patio. And, a patio hammock? Really? A bed right outside our room for our own personal use? You've got to be kidding me! All of it true and all of it simply amazing. I lived the life for a week and it was, in one word, FABULOUS! I'd always wondered what it would be like to purchase a Visa, fly to a tropical destination and experience all that it had to offer. And, I did just that. I don't have a so-called bucket list but, if I did, that would've been at the top of the list. And, it became my reality this past week.
What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico, at least according to Toby Keith. Well, Toby, I've spilled all of my "secrets" to the blogging world. I'm sure my mother is breathing a sigh of relief that I didn't get kidnapped by any drug cartels, land myself booty in the slammer or get married. Me? I am breathing a sigh of relief that this vacation went off without a hitch. Adios, Mexico. You can guarantee I'll be back to see you someday. When? I'm not sure. Better start saving my pennies :)
YES, I drank the water. YES, I am still alive. YES, my GI is apparently made of steel. Suck on that, Mexican H20 :)
Now, how did all this sand get back to my house? ;)
Wednesday, July 20: Another beautiful day of sun and sand. Surely I would've learned my lesson about the intense heat of the day before...WRONG! There's something about the mix of sun, sand and ocean that causes me to lose all ability to think straight. I had to lay out. Again. There was no stopping me. How bad could it be, right? Well, little did I know that the sun was gonna have it in for me. Too bad I never took into account that all the sweat pouring off my body was also taking the sunscreen with it. Lesson learned. I felt like I was coating myself in sunscreen. My upper body thought otherwise. Ouch! Although not "lobster red", I did have a bit of a burn, but knew that it would most likely turn to turn in a day or so. I understand this isn't a good way to treat my skin. But, I guess we all have our vices. Mine just happens to be loving A LOT of sun exposure! This day repeated itself like the one before. Lots of laying out in between bites of food, swigs of water and another fabulous dinner. I love food. Almost as much as lounging by the ocean. On the menu on this particular night? Sushi and some yummy stir-fry, all consumed by the lovely ocean and a fabulous sunset. Had I died and gone to heaven? At that moment, I would've shouted a resounding "YES"! This day ended with a tattoo. No, not a real one. Henna. I tried to fool people, mainly my mother. Honestly, I have kinda wanted to see what all the hype was about with getting inked. Come on, though! If I wanted to get a tat, I would definitely NOT get my first one in Mexico! I think some people were fooled. Others? Not so much. The two men working the Henna station were unbelievably nice. We even ended up taking a few pics of them later in the trip and they wrote down their names on a napkin for the purpose of looking them up on facebook...ha! One of them even uttered the words "lucky bastards" after playing along and posing for some pics. I'm not lying, it was the only thing I heard him say the entire vacation when we visited them! He was our artist and did some amazing free-hand henna!
Thursday, July 21: Surprise...another day of sunscreen and laying out! Shocking, right? I had to. It was another gorgeous day and it's a pity to waste it not trying to become a "bronzed goddess"! The redness on my upper neck and my face was slowly, but surely, fading to a golden brown. I grabbed another book from the room and laid claim to a beach chair, positioned every-so strategically in the perfect spot for another round of sun-bathing. At that moment, I got a little teary. Watching the water lap upon the sand, hearing the sound of the waves crashing, looking out onto the vast array of water (the most beautiful I had ever seen) and taking in all my surroundings, I realized something. This opportunity might not come around again. I was in paradise! I had to pinch myself a time or two, feeling so blessed to be experiencing all of this with some amazing people. This moment of appreciation was followed by, you guessed it, another tasty dinner and another look through the flea market.
Friday, July 22: This day was a little less cooperative, in terms of weather. Clouds rolled in early in the morning, leaving behind a short sprinkle in its wake. It's amazing how fast that bout of bad weather came and went. The sun was attempting to peak its head out and so, since this was going to be my last opportunity, I headed out to my trusty old beach chair and listened to some tunes. This was the life. I was secretly plotting ways I could stay here forever. Surely, I thought, Cancun needed good nurses! Or, maybe I could get a job at the resort. I've always wanted to wear one of those big chef's hats. Not that I cook a lot, but I tried to convince myself I'd probably do a great job bossing everyone else around. Or, maybe I could dress up in the precious maid's dresses and clean the rooms. I do love to clean, you know! Friday night ended with another round of sushi and stir-fry and almost getting blown away during dinner. Another quick rain swept through and, while gorging myself, we all thought we might be swept away with the wind. Luckily, though, the wind didn't take us, or our yummy food, away!
Saturday, July 23: Check-out day. As much fun as I had with my friends, I was ready to get home to my own bed and back to my non-tropical existence. I took last-minute pics on my cell phone and said "Adios" to paradise. We were escorted back to the airport and boarded our flight for Nashville. We landed safely around 6:00 pm. Nothing like feeling the wheels of the plane touch down in the good old USA!
I will miss so many things about Mexico. I will miss the hospitality of the entire staff at the resort. Each and every person, from the first bell-hop that whisked our bags away, to the nice man that checked us out, I had no complaints. Everyone was so nice and friendly! No one was too pushy (I had read a few reviews about how they bug you to go listen to a time-share presentation). All we had to do was say we weren't interested and no more questions were asked. Another thing I will miss is the people-watching. There's nothing like it! Sit in one of the huge sofas in the lobby that might have been three times the size of my house, and you had an instant show. People of all nationalities muddled around, visited the lobby bar, or just sat and took in some of the best breezes around. Believe me, just sitting in the lobby for two seconds with the cool breeze touching my shoulder was enough to put a BIG smile on my face! I will also miss all the food. Food glorious food! It seemed there was food around every corner. I've never eaten so much food in my life! Breakfast usually consisted of fruit and yogurt with granola. I loved the yogurt and granola! So much so, I ate it every single day! The fruit was out of this world! It was all so fresh, so delicious! A light lunch was normally followed by a hearty dinner. Believe me, I will NEVER forget all the various kids of foods I ate. Insane!!
Now, I guess it's back to life, back to reality. Back to the everyday grind of work and working out. I worked out today for the first time in over a week and I definitely felt it! I did enough sweating just being outside in Cancun, I didn't really feel like adding more at the resort gym. Besides, vacation is meant to be relaxing and a break away from one's normal, hum-drum life. So, I left my sneakers at home and vowed the only "exercise" I engaged in would be walking to and from eating! If you've not had the opportunity to visit Cancun, I suggest you do. Start saving now! Like I said earlier, my pics just don't do the place justice. I always thought water that pure and blue was just a myth. Ha! No, it's real. And, it was right outside our patio. And, a patio hammock? Really? A bed right outside our room for our own personal use? You've got to be kidding me! All of it true and all of it simply amazing. I lived the life for a week and it was, in one word, FABULOUS! I'd always wondered what it would be like to purchase a Visa, fly to a tropical destination and experience all that it had to offer. And, I did just that. I don't have a so-called bucket list but, if I did, that would've been at the top of the list. And, it became my reality this past week.
What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico, at least according to Toby Keith. Well, Toby, I've spilled all of my "secrets" to the blogging world. I'm sure my mother is breathing a sigh of relief that I didn't get kidnapped by any drug cartels, land myself booty in the slammer or get married. Me? I am breathing a sigh of relief that this vacation went off without a hitch. Adios, Mexico. You can guarantee I'll be back to see you someday. When? I'm not sure. Better start saving my pennies :)
YES, I drank the water. YES, I am still alive. YES, my GI is apparently made of steel. Suck on that, Mexican H20 :)
Now, how did all this sand get back to my house? ;)
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Trifecta :)
I've never claimed to know much about horse racing. Last year, I had the opportunity to visit Ellis Park with "professionals". I use that term in quotes because it wasn't so much that they were famous. They just knew a hell of a lot more than I did. And, that wasn't really saying a lot. My strategy? Pick the horse with the coolest-sounding name. Forget the odds, I was convinced that "Beam Me Up Scottie" would surely take me right to the finish line and some fast cash. Who cares if his odds were 75-1? Have a little faith! Yes, that horse's name is real. Sometimes, I do "surf the net" for my information! Anyway, my lack of knowledge regarding horses wasn't gonna stop me from betting the farm on "Ever So Clever". Moral? If you want to "win big", don't ask me for advice. And, maybe you ought to just leave me by the buffet. Now, THAT'S something I do know a lot about...food, glorious food!
Anyway, horse racing affords one the chance to bet on the "trifecta". Basically, the trifecta is a bet that involves the bettor predicting which horses will place first, second and third in exact order. I'm sure the odds of hitting are pretty slim. This is why you need your own "life trifecta". I've discovered mine! Now, it's time to discover yours.
The first piece of my"trifecta puzzle"? Running. Yes, I talk about running. A lot. Probably to the point that most of you wanna run right over me so I'll stop talking about it. I can't help it. It's become such a HUGE part of my life. I'm addicted. I can't get enough. It's hard. It's rough. It's just plain ugly sometimes, but I've learned to push through all the pain, the hurt, the voices in my head telling me I can't. Telling me I'm too fat, too lazy, too tired, too whatever. I haven't yet gotten to my goal of running a half-marathon, but I'll get there. Not every horse jumps out of the gate and is magically at the finish line! And, not every bettor gets it right the first time around. And, I'm certain that not every average, run-of-the-mill gal is able to run a half-marathon in 12 weeks.
The second piece of the "trifecta puzzle"? A Mexican getaway. I've always wanted to go to Mexico, but I've been leery. Mostly of the flying. Maybe a small part of me always thought I would be THE girl to go on vacation with my friends, step off the plane and be hog-tied and whisked away by the drug cartel! Ha! Then, all of TC would be glued to their TVs, watching poor little me making a plea for someone to come rescue me. Sure, I'd act like everything was all "hunky dory", but I would have a signal telling you all of the horrible things happening to me, most notably not being able to shower and get on facebook :) Well, this piece of the puzzle will soon fit perfectly. Next Monday, I'm flying to Cancun with three of my friends for some much-needed R&R! Paradise, here I come! Don't worry, I'll send you a postcard. That, I'm sure, won't get to you until after I'm back! That's usually how it goes. Hey, it's the thought that counts! If you want a postcard from yours truly, send me your address. If you don't receive one, alert the authorities. I may be in a Mexican prison somewhere, forced to eat cans of SPAM, watch "Toddlers and Tiaras" and knit sweaters for the prison guards.
The third piece of my "trifecta puzzle"? Going back to school and getting my bachelor's in nursing. Granted, I already have my bachelor's in healthcare administration. Hell, why not go back and get another one! I'm not quite sure when I'll get the ball rolling on this one, but it will most likely be in the Fall. I've had several people strongly suggest I get my BSN. Not because they thought I needed it, but because they felt I could do it. One person, in particulary, is a nurse who'll be retiring this year. As much as I know she's ready to hang up her cap, I will really, really, really, really miss her and her wonderful wealth of knowledge. She usually laughs it off and says I'll be fine when she's no longer working at the hospital. I seem to think we'll have some really big shoes to fill once she's walked out for the last time. I admire her many years of service to the profession and wonder if I can make it 35+ years like she has done. I suppose, if I can get through nursing school and pass boards, then I can pretty much do anything. Maybe even birth a 16-pound baby :)
What's your "life trifecta"? I've told you mine. If you haven't discovered it yet, go out and find three things that will drive you, make you want to be a better person. Don't feel discouraged if you just start with one thing. Find what you love and do it on purpose. Once you've mastered that, find something else that makes you wanna get up every single day and be a better person.
Now, it's off to dream about Mr. Ed and all things horse. I'll leave you with THREE of the funniest names I've discovered.
1. Knock Your Socks Off
2. Sir Kick-A-Lot
3. Nimfo Noon
The last one? Yep, it's real. I couldn't make this stuff up, folks! Okay, maybe I could. After all, my mind is usually on a way-one train to "Gutter Town" ;)
Anyway, horse racing affords one the chance to bet on the "trifecta". Basically, the trifecta is a bet that involves the bettor predicting which horses will place first, second and third in exact order. I'm sure the odds of hitting are pretty slim. This is why you need your own "life trifecta". I've discovered mine! Now, it's time to discover yours.
The first piece of my"trifecta puzzle"? Running. Yes, I talk about running. A lot. Probably to the point that most of you wanna run right over me so I'll stop talking about it. I can't help it. It's become such a HUGE part of my life. I'm addicted. I can't get enough. It's hard. It's rough. It's just plain ugly sometimes, but I've learned to push through all the pain, the hurt, the voices in my head telling me I can't. Telling me I'm too fat, too lazy, too tired, too whatever. I haven't yet gotten to my goal of running a half-marathon, but I'll get there. Not every horse jumps out of the gate and is magically at the finish line! And, not every bettor gets it right the first time around. And, I'm certain that not every average, run-of-the-mill gal is able to run a half-marathon in 12 weeks.
The second piece of the "trifecta puzzle"? A Mexican getaway. I've always wanted to go to Mexico, but I've been leery. Mostly of the flying. Maybe a small part of me always thought I would be THE girl to go on vacation with my friends, step off the plane and be hog-tied and whisked away by the drug cartel! Ha! Then, all of TC would be glued to their TVs, watching poor little me making a plea for someone to come rescue me. Sure, I'd act like everything was all "hunky dory", but I would have a signal telling you all of the horrible things happening to me, most notably not being able to shower and get on facebook :) Well, this piece of the puzzle will soon fit perfectly. Next Monday, I'm flying to Cancun with three of my friends for some much-needed R&R! Paradise, here I come! Don't worry, I'll send you a postcard. That, I'm sure, won't get to you until after I'm back! That's usually how it goes. Hey, it's the thought that counts! If you want a postcard from yours truly, send me your address. If you don't receive one, alert the authorities. I may be in a Mexican prison somewhere, forced to eat cans of SPAM, watch "Toddlers and Tiaras" and knit sweaters for the prison guards.
The third piece of my "trifecta puzzle"? Going back to school and getting my bachelor's in nursing. Granted, I already have my bachelor's in healthcare administration. Hell, why not go back and get another one! I'm not quite sure when I'll get the ball rolling on this one, but it will most likely be in the Fall. I've had several people strongly suggest I get my BSN. Not because they thought I needed it, but because they felt I could do it. One person, in particulary, is a nurse who'll be retiring this year. As much as I know she's ready to hang up her cap, I will really, really, really, really miss her and her wonderful wealth of knowledge. She usually laughs it off and says I'll be fine when she's no longer working at the hospital. I seem to think we'll have some really big shoes to fill once she's walked out for the last time. I admire her many years of service to the profession and wonder if I can make it 35+ years like she has done. I suppose, if I can get through nursing school and pass boards, then I can pretty much do anything. Maybe even birth a 16-pound baby :)
What's your "life trifecta"? I've told you mine. If you haven't discovered it yet, go out and find three things that will drive you, make you want to be a better person. Don't feel discouraged if you just start with one thing. Find what you love and do it on purpose. Once you've mastered that, find something else that makes you wanna get up every single day and be a better person.
Now, it's off to dream about Mr. Ed and all things horse. I'll leave you with THREE of the funniest names I've discovered.
1. Knock Your Socks Off
2. Sir Kick-A-Lot
3. Nimfo Noon
The last one? Yep, it's real. I couldn't make this stuff up, folks! Okay, maybe I could. After all, my mind is usually on a way-one train to "Gutter Town" ;)
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Your Pace Or Mine?
I'm still up. This should not come as a shock to anyone that knows me. Sleep and I haven't exactly been on speaking terms lately. I used to not be able to function unless I got at least 10 hours of sleep. Now? Well, I am good if I get about five hours. Yes, I know all the potential health risks this poses. I'm a nurse. I get it, But, what's a night owl to do?
Anyway, it's at this time of the night/morning that I do some of my best thinking. I am sure some of you are really sick of hearing me talk about my new-found love affair with running. It's become very important to me, so I continue to write about it. As some of you know, I finally graduated from the C25K program. In laymen's terms, that program got me off the couch and on the treadmill. And, it made a runner out of me. Me, the girl who HATED the idea of running and basically any "fool" that chose to torture him/herself with such a stupid activity. I used to joke that I would only run if someone was chasing me. I used every excuse in the book (in fact, I wrote the book!) on why I couldn't run. I'm too fat, it's too hot, I'm too tired, I'm too whatever it happened to be that I could come up with in a pinch. Basically, I was jealous that there were so many people out there just gliding through the streets of TC. I secretly wanted to be one of THOSE people. Robots, if you will. They all made it look so easy, so effortless. I'm not quite sure many of them ever broke a sweat. I, on the other hand, broke a sweat just thinking about biting into a doughnut. So, for years, I sat in awe, envious of their abilities to run circles around town.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that I started "running" at the right time. Granted, it took me 32 years to figure that out! Still, it swooped into my life at just the right moment. I was feeling really down on myself. Many of you probably think I have it all together all the time. That's far from the truth. I use my ability to be a smartass as a cover on most days. Better to make fun of yourself and beat everyone else to the punch, right? Right. I had always heard of the "Couch to 5K" program, but it seemed too hard. Something made me search for the app for my phone, though. I remember the exact day. It was as if the sign came from above. I can't always explain why things happen when and why they do. That's really not my purpose for writing this. All I know is that my life has really changed since the day I finally decided to give running a chance.
After A LOT of sweat and countless miles on the treadmill, I can proudly say that I finished the program and I am now starting the "bridge to 10K" program. Day 1 is in the books. It was TOUGH! But, I made it without wanting to crawl into a hole and die. I felt great afterwards. Well, except for that darn leg cramp! It's a good thing I love bananas and powerade!!! Sorry, mom, but I did whisper a few expletives about halfway through my run yesterday! I'll gladly take the occasional muscle cramp, though. Because, there's a bigger picture here. I feel the healthiest I've felt in a long time! I am not as tired as before. I finally have my confidence back! I believe that I am slowly becoming addicted. I used to grumble when I knew I had to go to the gym and run. Now? I don't wanna stop! We'll see if I'm still feeling this way when I start to transition outside! I don't do well on most normal days when it's as hot as Hades, so I can only imagine what I'll be screaming when I'm running out in the heat! I think I'll just stick to midnight runs!! I've even started to do a few "two-a-days" during the week. Insane? Perhaps. Dedicated? You betcha :) I even bought a new running shirt a few months ago. "Your pace" on the front. "Or mine?" on the back...yes, it cracked me up. Hey, I never claimed to act my age.
I have learned so much throughout the last nine weeks, most notably of my ability to trust myself and the process. There's no doubt anymore. Sure, I may occasionally want to puke int he middle of the training, but I somehow find a way to push through. I'm a Capricorn. We're pretty hard-headed and stubborn. So, when we wanna do something, you better believe we'll accomplish it! Something silly that I've started to do (and it has helped tremendously!!!) is imagining someone's face at the end of the treadmill. It's usually a different person each time. The person (in my mind, at least!) is constantly yelling at me to push through the pain, rise above the hurt and keep on keepin' on. Most of the time, it works!
Running really is a metaphor for life. You get out of it what you put into it. Sure, you are competing against thousands come race day. But, THE most important race lies within the runner. If I'm willing to put in the time and effort it takes to solidify my relationship with running, then good will happen. Like I said before, I've become a night owl. It's okay. I've got miles to go before I sleep...
My only advice to those of you wanting to run? Do it! Just don't EVER eat an apple before you hop on the treadmill. Take it from me, I learned my lesson the hard way and so did the gym bathroom!
Anyway, it's at this time of the night/morning that I do some of my best thinking. I am sure some of you are really sick of hearing me talk about my new-found love affair with running. It's become very important to me, so I continue to write about it. As some of you know, I finally graduated from the C25K program. In laymen's terms, that program got me off the couch and on the treadmill. And, it made a runner out of me. Me, the girl who HATED the idea of running and basically any "fool" that chose to torture him/herself with such a stupid activity. I used to joke that I would only run if someone was chasing me. I used every excuse in the book (in fact, I wrote the book!) on why I couldn't run. I'm too fat, it's too hot, I'm too tired, I'm too whatever it happened to be that I could come up with in a pinch. Basically, I was jealous that there were so many people out there just gliding through the streets of TC. I secretly wanted to be one of THOSE people. Robots, if you will. They all made it look so easy, so effortless. I'm not quite sure many of them ever broke a sweat. I, on the other hand, broke a sweat just thinking about biting into a doughnut. So, for years, I sat in awe, envious of their abilities to run circles around town.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that I started "running" at the right time. Granted, it took me 32 years to figure that out! Still, it swooped into my life at just the right moment. I was feeling really down on myself. Many of you probably think I have it all together all the time. That's far from the truth. I use my ability to be a smartass as a cover on most days. Better to make fun of yourself and beat everyone else to the punch, right? Right. I had always heard of the "Couch to 5K" program, but it seemed too hard. Something made me search for the app for my phone, though. I remember the exact day. It was as if the sign came from above. I can't always explain why things happen when and why they do. That's really not my purpose for writing this. All I know is that my life has really changed since the day I finally decided to give running a chance.
After A LOT of sweat and countless miles on the treadmill, I can proudly say that I finished the program and I am now starting the "bridge to 10K" program. Day 1 is in the books. It was TOUGH! But, I made it without wanting to crawl into a hole and die. I felt great afterwards. Well, except for that darn leg cramp! It's a good thing I love bananas and powerade!!! Sorry, mom, but I did whisper a few expletives about halfway through my run yesterday! I'll gladly take the occasional muscle cramp, though. Because, there's a bigger picture here. I feel the healthiest I've felt in a long time! I am not as tired as before. I finally have my confidence back! I believe that I am slowly becoming addicted. I used to grumble when I knew I had to go to the gym and run. Now? I don't wanna stop! We'll see if I'm still feeling this way when I start to transition outside! I don't do well on most normal days when it's as hot as Hades, so I can only imagine what I'll be screaming when I'm running out in the heat! I think I'll just stick to midnight runs!! I've even started to do a few "two-a-days" during the week. Insane? Perhaps. Dedicated? You betcha :) I even bought a new running shirt a few months ago. "Your pace" on the front. "Or mine?" on the back...yes, it cracked me up. Hey, I never claimed to act my age.
I have learned so much throughout the last nine weeks, most notably of my ability to trust myself and the process. There's no doubt anymore. Sure, I may occasionally want to puke int he middle of the training, but I somehow find a way to push through. I'm a Capricorn. We're pretty hard-headed and stubborn. So, when we wanna do something, you better believe we'll accomplish it! Something silly that I've started to do (and it has helped tremendously!!!) is imagining someone's face at the end of the treadmill. It's usually a different person each time. The person (in my mind, at least!) is constantly yelling at me to push through the pain, rise above the hurt and keep on keepin' on. Most of the time, it works!
Running really is a metaphor for life. You get out of it what you put into it. Sure, you are competing against thousands come race day. But, THE most important race lies within the runner. If I'm willing to put in the time and effort it takes to solidify my relationship with running, then good will happen. Like I said before, I've become a night owl. It's okay. I've got miles to go before I sleep...
My only advice to those of you wanting to run? Do it! Just don't EVER eat an apple before you hop on the treadmill. Take it from me, I learned my lesson the hard way and so did the gym bathroom!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
I'm Like The Little Engine That Could :)
I've always been a BIG worry wart. I worry about my life, your life, their life. I worry about the weather, my family, friends and pets (if I had them!). I worry about the price of gas, why orange is such a popular color and how on Earth I got to be 32. This is staring to sound like a bad version of a Pattly Loveless song! To make a long story short, I worry. A lot. Nearly everything I worry about is way out of my control. But, I still feel the need to worry about it. Why do I do this to myself? It's like a game. Emily, sure it's necessary to worry when the price of milk will start coming down. And, those credit card bills? Yep, worry about those, too. Why aren't you a size 4? You probably ought to worry and obsess about the scale...just add that to your ever-growing list. Why not! Do you see a pattern here?
I worry to the point of feeling anxious about "things" that worry me. Sounds great, right? NOT! Most people that know me will agree that I am a super control freak. If I don't have control over MOST of life, then that's just not good enough. So, if you're gonna throw me a surprise party, think again. I didn't spend months and months helping you plan it, so it's obviously gonna suck and not be absolutely perfect. WTF? And, that speech you just delivered? Yep, I would've given a better one. Oops, that leads me to another one of my flaws. Pride. Sure, you might think I am generous, but I'm usually just harboring feelings of resentment for anyone that has the nerve to do something better and faster. I have to be the best at everything and feel like a total failure when I am proven wrong. Anything you can do, I can do better. Oh yeah, you baked that cake in 35 minutes? Well, move over, 'cause I can make it in 34. Seriously, this is how my brain works most of the time. I'm not saying this holds true when it comes to my friends. I am genuinely happy for anything they do. But, if I don't know you, then it's game on. Let's see who can tie their shoelaces the fastest. I can pretty much make a competition out of any activity.
What's your point, Emily? I knew you'd ask. My point is this. I'm beginning a journey to stop these behaviors. As Brooks and Dunn sang, "I saw the light...". Good thing, too. I've been drinking a little too much "haterade" for my own good lately. You know what's helped me the most? Running. Yep. Running has forced me to get really honest with myself. I've realized that I haven't been all that nice lately. In other words, I need a filter for my mouth! If you've been acting like a "douche bag", then I've been letting the whole wide world know it. Screw you if you don't like me. Screw you if you don't agree with everything I do. Screw you for not thinking I am an amazing person. I'm slowly learning that that's not a wise thing to do. At least not broadcasting it to anyone and everyone who'll listen! As the song goes, sometimes the "tales grow taller on down the line". Running has become my own "white flag".
Why do I let someone's opinion of me influence my life so much? I know why. Because, like most girls who are like this, I have issues with self-esteem. Hence the reason why I started running in the first place. I'll admit, I did it for reasons that I am not proud of at this moment. Yes, I did it because I thought someone had done me wrong. It doesn't matter who. Hell, at the time I started, it could've been a dog. Anyway, I started running as a sort of "middle finger salute". Like a, "how dare you treat me like that?". Well, I'll show you. I'm gonna do something that you probably think I can't. Fast-forward nine weeks and I feel great! I've slowly let go of those old tendencies. Granted, the middle finger has come down and I feel no ill will toward anyone but the person who thinks orange is the new black. Three months ago, the only thing I would've run to would've been a bowl of ice cream or a bed! Now? I'm running for me. I'm running for anyone that thinks it's impossible. I'm running for my health and well-being. I'm running to prove to myself that I can. And, I have! I will admit that it's been hard at times. I've found myself on the treadmill thinking, "what the hell are YOU doing? You stupid asshole! YOU can't do this?". Well, I've learned to silence that voice inside my head always telling me I CAN'T. Because, you know what? I can. I've been proving that over and over for the last nine weeks. And, I'm going to keep on proving it until I cross that finish line at the half marathon. Watch me. Don't worry. You're safe. I won't give you the "bird"! I've softened...A LOT!
I was talking to a friend this evening about running the Schweizer Fest 2-mile this year. Her reply was, "Yes, but I'm running the six-mile. And, you are, too". How can I argue with that? I can't. I am seriously considering it. Will I be the fastest? Hell no. But, at least I won't be asleep in bed, still hungover from the beer garden like most of TC! I'm a "real" athlete now. I've got miles to go before I sleep...
My old self would've said, "if it's hard, DON'T DO IT". Sorry, old self. but, you're gettin' kicked to the curb. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. These running shoes are made for running...and, one of these days, these running shoes are gonna run all over you. YOU being my former "you sure can't run so don't even try" self.
If I've inspired one person to get out there and run 30 seconds, then I've done my job. My new life motto is "pay it forward". I don't wanna be anyone's hero. I'm much too flawed for that title. I just want to be a someone who gets people to change their way of thinking. To stop thinking that they can't do something. As corny as it sounds, you really CAN do anything you put your mind to. Kindly remember that the next time you start to to think this "phat" girl can't run.
Remember that little engine? Yeah, I'm striving to be like it. "I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN" :)
I worry to the point of feeling anxious about "things" that worry me. Sounds great, right? NOT! Most people that know me will agree that I am a super control freak. If I don't have control over MOST of life, then that's just not good enough. So, if you're gonna throw me a surprise party, think again. I didn't spend months and months helping you plan it, so it's obviously gonna suck and not be absolutely perfect. WTF? And, that speech you just delivered? Yep, I would've given a better one. Oops, that leads me to another one of my flaws. Pride. Sure, you might think I am generous, but I'm usually just harboring feelings of resentment for anyone that has the nerve to do something better and faster. I have to be the best at everything and feel like a total failure when I am proven wrong. Anything you can do, I can do better. Oh yeah, you baked that cake in 35 minutes? Well, move over, 'cause I can make it in 34. Seriously, this is how my brain works most of the time. I'm not saying this holds true when it comes to my friends. I am genuinely happy for anything they do. But, if I don't know you, then it's game on. Let's see who can tie their shoelaces the fastest. I can pretty much make a competition out of any activity.
What's your point, Emily? I knew you'd ask. My point is this. I'm beginning a journey to stop these behaviors. As Brooks and Dunn sang, "I saw the light...". Good thing, too. I've been drinking a little too much "haterade" for my own good lately. You know what's helped me the most? Running. Yep. Running has forced me to get really honest with myself. I've realized that I haven't been all that nice lately. In other words, I need a filter for my mouth! If you've been acting like a "douche bag", then I've been letting the whole wide world know it. Screw you if you don't like me. Screw you if you don't agree with everything I do. Screw you for not thinking I am an amazing person. I'm slowly learning that that's not a wise thing to do. At least not broadcasting it to anyone and everyone who'll listen! As the song goes, sometimes the "tales grow taller on down the line". Running has become my own "white flag".
Why do I let someone's opinion of me influence my life so much? I know why. Because, like most girls who are like this, I have issues with self-esteem. Hence the reason why I started running in the first place. I'll admit, I did it for reasons that I am not proud of at this moment. Yes, I did it because I thought someone had done me wrong. It doesn't matter who. Hell, at the time I started, it could've been a dog. Anyway, I started running as a sort of "middle finger salute". Like a, "how dare you treat me like that?". Well, I'll show you. I'm gonna do something that you probably think I can't. Fast-forward nine weeks and I feel great! I've slowly let go of those old tendencies. Granted, the middle finger has come down and I feel no ill will toward anyone but the person who thinks orange is the new black. Three months ago, the only thing I would've run to would've been a bowl of ice cream or a bed! Now? I'm running for me. I'm running for anyone that thinks it's impossible. I'm running for my health and well-being. I'm running to prove to myself that I can. And, I have! I will admit that it's been hard at times. I've found myself on the treadmill thinking, "what the hell are YOU doing? You stupid asshole! YOU can't do this?". Well, I've learned to silence that voice inside my head always telling me I CAN'T. Because, you know what? I can. I've been proving that over and over for the last nine weeks. And, I'm going to keep on proving it until I cross that finish line at the half marathon. Watch me. Don't worry. You're safe. I won't give you the "bird"! I've softened...A LOT!
I was talking to a friend this evening about running the Schweizer Fest 2-mile this year. Her reply was, "Yes, but I'm running the six-mile. And, you are, too". How can I argue with that? I can't. I am seriously considering it. Will I be the fastest? Hell no. But, at least I won't be asleep in bed, still hungover from the beer garden like most of TC! I'm a "real" athlete now. I've got miles to go before I sleep...
My old self would've said, "if it's hard, DON'T DO IT". Sorry, old self. but, you're gettin' kicked to the curb. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. These running shoes are made for running...and, one of these days, these running shoes are gonna run all over you. YOU being my former "you sure can't run so don't even try" self.
If I've inspired one person to get out there and run 30 seconds, then I've done my job. My new life motto is "pay it forward". I don't wanna be anyone's hero. I'm much too flawed for that title. I just want to be a someone who gets people to change their way of thinking. To stop thinking that they can't do something. As corny as it sounds, you really CAN do anything you put your mind to. Kindly remember that the next time you start to to think this "phat" girl can't run.
Remember that little engine? Yeah, I'm striving to be like it. "I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN" :)
Monday, June 13, 2011
This Ain't Your Typical "Animal Kingdom" :)
I have decided to really "study up" on the mating rituals of animals. Yes, maybe I have lost it. But, then again, did I ever really have "it"? I think not! So, here we go to the animal kingdom...
1. CATS: I've discovered that a female cat will start by flirting with the male cat (also called a Tom). Of course, there's the beginning of our problem. The male cat actually is called by a common name. Yikes! Anyway, so she flirts a lot. Females go through four hormonal cycles. I won't go into detail with any of them. But, I will say this. The most important stage (and the one that I, of course, found funniest!) is called estrus. It's stage two. This stage is also known as "heat". No, not the NBA team. The queen, as female cats are called (how fitting!), will meow more frequently in an attempt to find her tom. She might rub up against you, perhaps because she thinks you're that "tom". Probably one of the reasons why I don't really want a cat! If you happen to have a cat, be prepared to be in agony for 4-6 days. If, by some chance, Queen finds her Tom, both cats will study each other carefully. The two cats will explore each other's bodies, including licking the face and then staring at the genitals. Seriously? Might as well just rent a porn for the two. Your cat might be quite selective in which Tom she goes after. And, please don't be offended if she goes after a different Tom than the one you foolishly tried to set her up with...shame on you for not really knowing her true tastes :)
2. DOGS: Dogs have always fascinated me. Their mating behaviors are quite unique. The "bitch" has her first "heat" experience anywhere from 6-12 months of age. What a slut! At any rate, this is when the bitches realize the ways of the world. It doesn't take them long to find that male companion. The testosterone level in male dogs reaches its peak around 5 months of age (wow, really?) By this time, their repetitive mounting and thrusting behaviors have probably started to become a nuisance to their owners. I mean, why buy the porn when you can get the act for free in your own backyard? Also, the male and female dog literally get stuck together during the act. OMG. I think I've read enough.
3. RABBITS: "Bunny Sex" has baffled mankind for years, even to the point of becoming legendary. It's not so much that rabbits are always having marathon sex sessions (Ha...they do not), but their ability to manifest an awesome propagation is quite astounding. They can literally make millions from a single sex session. Gives new meaning to "We are the World", doesn't it?!? Bunny courtship always starts with the male rabbit (buck) being attracted to the female rabbit (doe). Gee, I think I liked the minds of the dogs and cats better! The buck's testicles are full and bulging during his virile stage. Otherwise, they are absorbed into his abdomen. Okay, that's just disgusting. To make a long story short, buck meets doe. Buck lets doe know he's interested. He'll start to circle his potential prize, showing off his tail and underside. He'll start to act really crazy and even urinate on the doe. Hmm, I'm glad this concept somehow didn't translate over to the human world. The entire act of sex for rabbits takes about 20 seconds. Then, it's time for "Little Bunny Foo Foo" to hop, hop, hop away :)
4. CHICKENS: The typical mating ritual starts with the rooster dancing around the hen. Perhaps he thinks he's in "da club" and needs to prove his "mad" dance skills. He'll flap his wing around her but, more often than not, the smart hen will run away, only to be chased down by the rooster and mounted...and, that is how the insemination process begins! Damn roosters. I have discovered through hours of research (okay, so maybe just about five minutes!) that roosters are very clever animals. Another ritual involves the rooster's cunning. When a rooster feels the need to get a hen pregnant, he'll lead her out to food. He'll do this by making a loud, high-pitched clucking sound. Being a gentleman, he'll kindly let the hen eat first. And, out of nowhere, he'll mount her from behind. What a typical male! At least the hen got to eat first :)
5. BANANA SLUGS: These slugs are really funny! The average eight-inch slug also has an eight-inch penis. When he first realizes this, I am sure he's probably really, really stoked. When he hears through the grapevine that his potential mate could actually chew it off, he probably becomes just a wee bit depressed! As you can see, this fact could cause a huge problem for the banana slug, because they must find a mate that is the same size. If they happen to have been born with crappy eyesight, they won't properly fit and then the mate will gnaw on it like a chicken wing to solve the length problem, or lack thereof! The record holder for slugs had a penis five times the length of its own body, which I can only assume it wrapped around its head as protection on a cold winter's night :)
Moral of my research? I've learned nothing but this...everyone and everything has sex. Men. Women. Cats. Dogs. Rabbits. Chickens. Even those damn banana slugs! It's everywhere. On TV. In bedrooms. In cars. On the ground. In a van down by the river. Everywhere, people!
Now, it's time for me to get back to my own porno...and, it's happening right in my back yard :)
1. CATS: I've discovered that a female cat will start by flirting with the male cat (also called a Tom). Of course, there's the beginning of our problem. The male cat actually is called by a common name. Yikes! Anyway, so she flirts a lot. Females go through four hormonal cycles. I won't go into detail with any of them. But, I will say this. The most important stage (and the one that I, of course, found funniest!) is called estrus. It's stage two. This stage is also known as "heat". No, not the NBA team. The queen, as female cats are called (how fitting!), will meow more frequently in an attempt to find her tom. She might rub up against you, perhaps because she thinks you're that "tom". Probably one of the reasons why I don't really want a cat! If you happen to have a cat, be prepared to be in agony for 4-6 days. If, by some chance, Queen finds her Tom, both cats will study each other carefully. The two cats will explore each other's bodies, including licking the face and then staring at the genitals. Seriously? Might as well just rent a porn for the two. Your cat might be quite selective in which Tom she goes after. And, please don't be offended if she goes after a different Tom than the one you foolishly tried to set her up with...shame on you for not really knowing her true tastes :)
2. DOGS: Dogs have always fascinated me. Their mating behaviors are quite unique. The "bitch" has her first "heat" experience anywhere from 6-12 months of age. What a slut! At any rate, this is when the bitches realize the ways of the world. It doesn't take them long to find that male companion. The testosterone level in male dogs reaches its peak around 5 months of age (wow, really?) By this time, their repetitive mounting and thrusting behaviors have probably started to become a nuisance to their owners. I mean, why buy the porn when you can get the act for free in your own backyard? Also, the male and female dog literally get stuck together during the act. OMG. I think I've read enough.
3. RABBITS: "Bunny Sex" has baffled mankind for years, even to the point of becoming legendary. It's not so much that rabbits are always having marathon sex sessions (Ha...they do not), but their ability to manifest an awesome propagation is quite astounding. They can literally make millions from a single sex session. Gives new meaning to "We are the World", doesn't it?!? Bunny courtship always starts with the male rabbit (buck) being attracted to the female rabbit (doe). Gee, I think I liked the minds of the dogs and cats better! The buck's testicles are full and bulging during his virile stage. Otherwise, they are absorbed into his abdomen. Okay, that's just disgusting. To make a long story short, buck meets doe. Buck lets doe know he's interested. He'll start to circle his potential prize, showing off his tail and underside. He'll start to act really crazy and even urinate on the doe. Hmm, I'm glad this concept somehow didn't translate over to the human world. The entire act of sex for rabbits takes about 20 seconds. Then, it's time for "Little Bunny Foo Foo" to hop, hop, hop away :)
4. CHICKENS: The typical mating ritual starts with the rooster dancing around the hen. Perhaps he thinks he's in "da club" and needs to prove his "mad" dance skills. He'll flap his wing around her but, more often than not, the smart hen will run away, only to be chased down by the rooster and mounted...and, that is how the insemination process begins! Damn roosters. I have discovered through hours of research (okay, so maybe just about five minutes!) that roosters are very clever animals. Another ritual involves the rooster's cunning. When a rooster feels the need to get a hen pregnant, he'll lead her out to food. He'll do this by making a loud, high-pitched clucking sound. Being a gentleman, he'll kindly let the hen eat first. And, out of nowhere, he'll mount her from behind. What a typical male! At least the hen got to eat first :)
5. BANANA SLUGS: These slugs are really funny! The average eight-inch slug also has an eight-inch penis. When he first realizes this, I am sure he's probably really, really stoked. When he hears through the grapevine that his potential mate could actually chew it off, he probably becomes just a wee bit depressed! As you can see, this fact could cause a huge problem for the banana slug, because they must find a mate that is the same size. If they happen to have been born with crappy eyesight, they won't properly fit and then the mate will gnaw on it like a chicken wing to solve the length problem, or lack thereof! The record holder for slugs had a penis five times the length of its own body, which I can only assume it wrapped around its head as protection on a cold winter's night :)
Moral of my research? I've learned nothing but this...everyone and everything has sex. Men. Women. Cats. Dogs. Rabbits. Chickens. Even those damn banana slugs! It's everywhere. On TV. In bedrooms. In cars. On the ground. In a van down by the river. Everywhere, people!
Now, it's time for me to get back to my own porno...and, it's happening right in my back yard :)
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Runnin' Down a Dream...
Well, it's nearly summer and it has once again snuck up on me and my giant arse. Ya know what, though? I'm seven weeks in to the C25K program and I am amazed at how my booty is slowly, but surely, shrinking. Who knew running would actually be beneficial! I used to hate to run. And, I used to hate the people that loved to run. I'd see those dedicated "losers" out running in rain, sleet, snow and hail and wonder if they were smoking the crack pipe. I'm here to tell the doubters this...GET OUT THERE AND DO IT! One step at a time. Seven weeks ago, I was barely able to talk after jumping off the treadmill. Now? I feel great! I am up to running 25 minutes without stopping. That might not sounds like a lot but, to me, it's HUGE! And, now when I'm finished, I don't feel like I am gonna fall over and die. Running, and this program, has truly been one of THE best things that has ever happened to me. Not only for the obvious health benefits (and, the fact that I think someone could start bouncing quarters off my derriere!), but I have gained oodles and oodles of confidence. Believe me, if I can run, I can do anything. Okay, okay, not anything. I refuse to eat mushrooms. Or, brussel sprouts. Or, drink coffee or tea. But, other than those things, BRING IT ON :)
So, I have almost conquered the C25K program. I definitely was a big skeptic in the beginning. I can't do this! It's too hard! I'm too fat! I don't have time! I'm so tired! I'm so hungry! I can't, I don't, I won't...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I made a promise to myself that nothing was going to stop me from reaching the end. Not being too tired. Not being too afraid. Not anyone thinking I couldn't do it. I know I'm not the world's fastest runner. I don't want that title. I just want to be able to run and not die. Exercise and not collapse. Rise above the odds and keep going. One mile at a time.
I'm a wee bit embarrassed to admit that, in the beginning, my motivation for wanting to complete the program went a little beyond just the obvious benefits of health and wellness. I am a pretty competitive person. If you tell me I can't do something or somehow doubt that I can do something, then I'll do it. And, do it way better than ever imagined. So, that was my motivation at the start. Now? My motivation is all those people that have been so incredibly supportive. Those that have given me advice. Those that have believed in my abilities. At this point, I'm like the little engine that could. And, you know what? I'm gonna "keep on keepin' on" until I get to my goal. And, that is 13.1 :)
Moral of this story? Go out and conquer your fears. If you want to run, then run. If you want to bungee jump, then take the plunge. If you want to eat a tub of ice cream, then do it. But, can you let me know when that happens so I can invite myself over? That'd be great!
On that note, the Kenyans called. They heard about my story and need some running advice ;)
So, I have almost conquered the C25K program. I definitely was a big skeptic in the beginning. I can't do this! It's too hard! I'm too fat! I don't have time! I'm so tired! I'm so hungry! I can't, I don't, I won't...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I made a promise to myself that nothing was going to stop me from reaching the end. Not being too tired. Not being too afraid. Not anyone thinking I couldn't do it. I know I'm not the world's fastest runner. I don't want that title. I just want to be able to run and not die. Exercise and not collapse. Rise above the odds and keep going. One mile at a time.
I'm a wee bit embarrassed to admit that, in the beginning, my motivation for wanting to complete the program went a little beyond just the obvious benefits of health and wellness. I am a pretty competitive person. If you tell me I can't do something or somehow doubt that I can do something, then I'll do it. And, do it way better than ever imagined. So, that was my motivation at the start. Now? My motivation is all those people that have been so incredibly supportive. Those that have given me advice. Those that have believed in my abilities. At this point, I'm like the little engine that could. And, you know what? I'm gonna "keep on keepin' on" until I get to my goal. And, that is 13.1 :)
Moral of this story? Go out and conquer your fears. If you want to run, then run. If you want to bungee jump, then take the plunge. If you want to eat a tub of ice cream, then do it. But, can you let me know when that happens so I can invite myself over? That'd be great!
On that note, the Kenyans called. They heard about my story and need some running advice ;)
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Observations on a Yard Sale...
Let me first say that I am VERY, VERY happy with my share of the money made off of our yard sale. But, it is hard work! Two straight days of getting up at 0500, followed by 4-5 hours of trying to get people to buy your crap is rather daunting. Let me walk you through the steps of the "little yard sale that could" :)
First, you realize something. You realize that you have a lot of "shit" you need to get rid of, but you have no idea where to start. Who really needs roughly 35 pairs of nursing scrubs? You've never worn that grape-colored outfit but, hey, you think you might wear it three months from now. Surely, everyone owns 15 scarves. And, must you have two identical pairs of gym shoes? Come on, Emily...get a grip! So, after what felt like months, I slowly weeded through the mounds and mounds of clothing, shoes, purses, scarves, etc...and, lined them all up. I had a stern discussion with my belongings. I said, "belongings, we've had a good run together. It's not you, it's me. Me, realizing that I need some cash and you ain't cuttin' the mustard anymore. So long, farewell, be on your best behavior because mama is in need of a Mexican vacation".
Add two friends and there you have it. A two-day yard sale of epic proportions. Okay, so in the grand scheme of life, it wasn't that big, but it was big enough. After a lot of blood, sweat and tears (okay, so no one cried, except tears of joy when it was over!), we walked away with a pretty impressive amount of dough. Will I have another one? Probably so. But, let me accumulate even more junk first!
Apart from the actual selling of the junk is the even better people-watching. I never realized there were so many hard-core yard salers until this weekend. Also, no one really knows how to tell time when someone yells "YARD SALE". Last time I checked, a start time of 0700 doesn't mean you can come nearly knock the door down at 0530. I know you want junk, but take it down a notch. Everyone should have a fair shot at the "Linda Ronstadt's Greatest Hits" cassette tape. I think I should've had a starting line with a person pointing a shot gun up in the air. The hard-core people would've arrived at 0530 and could've meditated and stretched before the "race". Once they heard the shot, the could've sprinted to all the junk. "Hands off that seashell," one would say. "Hell no, you can't have that 1985 "We Are The World" T-shirt". People, it's junk. It's okay if you actually show up when it starts. Some people will never learn...you won't miss the good stuff. It's crap. All of it. Hence the reason why it's all outside of the house, sort of resembling "Sanford and Son".
Back to the people-watching. Yard sales bring out people that I don't think have showed their faces in public in years. And, said people bring the whole "fam damily" with them. Little Johnny yells, "don't forget to bring granny. She may need some new perm rods". Or, you just might get hit on by old men and, of course, on the day that you don't take a shower. You look like a real winner. You gather that the man probably had cataracts. Or, he just likes to flirt with anything that has a pulse. Believe me, I think I saw him making eyes at a cat strolling by.
I guess the old saying is true. "One man's trash is another man's treasure". Now, who wants to listen to some Linda Ronstadt?
First, you realize something. You realize that you have a lot of "shit" you need to get rid of, but you have no idea where to start. Who really needs roughly 35 pairs of nursing scrubs? You've never worn that grape-colored outfit but, hey, you think you might wear it three months from now. Surely, everyone owns 15 scarves. And, must you have two identical pairs of gym shoes? Come on, Emily...get a grip! So, after what felt like months, I slowly weeded through the mounds and mounds of clothing, shoes, purses, scarves, etc...and, lined them all up. I had a stern discussion with my belongings. I said, "belongings, we've had a good run together. It's not you, it's me. Me, realizing that I need some cash and you ain't cuttin' the mustard anymore. So long, farewell, be on your best behavior because mama is in need of a Mexican vacation".
Add two friends and there you have it. A two-day yard sale of epic proportions. Okay, so in the grand scheme of life, it wasn't that big, but it was big enough. After a lot of blood, sweat and tears (okay, so no one cried, except tears of joy when it was over!), we walked away with a pretty impressive amount of dough. Will I have another one? Probably so. But, let me accumulate even more junk first!
Apart from the actual selling of the junk is the even better people-watching. I never realized there were so many hard-core yard salers until this weekend. Also, no one really knows how to tell time when someone yells "YARD SALE". Last time I checked, a start time of 0700 doesn't mean you can come nearly knock the door down at 0530. I know you want junk, but take it down a notch. Everyone should have a fair shot at the "Linda Ronstadt's Greatest Hits" cassette tape. I think I should've had a starting line with a person pointing a shot gun up in the air. The hard-core people would've arrived at 0530 and could've meditated and stretched before the "race". Once they heard the shot, the could've sprinted to all the junk. "Hands off that seashell," one would say. "Hell no, you can't have that 1985 "We Are The World" T-shirt". People, it's junk. It's okay if you actually show up when it starts. Some people will never learn...you won't miss the good stuff. It's crap. All of it. Hence the reason why it's all outside of the house, sort of resembling "Sanford and Son".
Back to the people-watching. Yard sales bring out people that I don't think have showed their faces in public in years. And, said people bring the whole "fam damily" with them. Little Johnny yells, "don't forget to bring granny. She may need some new perm rods". Or, you just might get hit on by old men and, of course, on the day that you don't take a shower. You look like a real winner. You gather that the man probably had cataracts. Or, he just likes to flirt with anything that has a pulse. Believe me, I think I saw him making eyes at a cat strolling by.
I guess the old saying is true. "One man's trash is another man's treasure". Now, who wants to listen to some Linda Ronstadt?
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Run Forrest Run...
This is a true story. Of a girl. And, a dream. And, how the girl is gonna make the dream a reality.
I've always been a rather shy person. Last summer, I thought taking up running would help me break out of my shell. Granted, I was from the school that you should only run if something or someone was chasing you. No one should ever do it for any sort of exercise. In fact, I thought most of those people that I saw trotting down the road had lost it. Who would want to do something so ridiculous? After much coaxing by a few people, I started. Very slow. So slow, in fact, it was almost a fast walk. I started on the treadmill. I figured that was the best place for a "newbie" to start. Less eyes on me. Shy me. I could only run one minute without stopping. Probably because I nearly started hyperventilating. I jumped off the treadmill, sweat coming out of what felt like every pore on my body. I could barely speak. Plus, I had to pee. Not a surprise, considering most of my insides jiggle and shake when running. It only took one minute to get that stitch in my side. How can I do this? How do most people do this? I had to figure this out...and, quick. I wasn't going to give up.
The next few weeks at the gym were physically demanding. I'm a big girl. I have more fat to contend with, especially around the middle. But, I told myself that I could do this. Slowly, but surely, I was turning shy little me into a runner. Well, maybe a jogger. At any rate, I slowly increased my time that I was running and not holding onto the siderails. I always found the first 10 minutes the hardest. I told myself that I would be just fine if I could make it through the first 10 minutes. Maybe it's psychological. The first 10 hurt. Like hell. My calves ached. My knees hurt. There was always a little tennis match in my head. Two players, "Good Emily" and "Bad Emily". Good Emily would be saying, "Look at you! You are running! Go for it and never give up". Bad Emily would be shouting, "Jump off this damn machine and go get a Swiss Cake Roll. Now. Running is for losers". The battle raged on until minute 10. Then, I told them both to shut the hell up and I kept on. Was I actually conquering a fear I'd had for a long time? Surely I wasn't actually becoming a runner. Maybe, just maybe!
I few months went by, and I had slowly made it up to 35 minutes of actually jogging without stopping...wow! I nearly cried when I managed that for the first time. Granted, I thought my legs were gonna fall right off after I got finished, but I had done it. And, I was still alive. I decided that, if I was really gonna do this right, I needed to get the proper shoes. Walking into Swift Athletics on a sunny afternoon in Evansville was daunting. And, quite intimidating. Would they see me and immediately start laughing? Maybe they would just let me down easy. "Um, ma'am, don't be ridiculous. You don't even look like a runner. Thanks for playing, but get out of here". Quite the opposite happened. The people there were extremely friendly and very helpful! They watched me walk and run in the store (a little embarrassing!). I walked out of there with less cash but a comfortable (and, correct) pair of running shoes. That's when I decided to transition to the track.
Most of you will remember that last summer was HOT. No, make that scorching. When I would run at the track, it would be around 9 pm. Even then, it was almost unbearable. But, I wasn't gonna let a lot of sweat stop me. At this point, I had a friend meet up with me. Watching her run around the track made me doubt my abilities. She made it look easy. It was a great push for me. Is she could do it, then why couldn't I? After several laps around the track over the course of a few weeks, it was time for the Schweizer Fest Road Run. I had made it my goal to fun that race. The day of the race came, and I felt confident. My friend and I had made a pact that we wouldn't necessarily stay together. I secretly thought she would race right ahead of me anyway, and I didn't want to slow her down. I couldn't believe all the people that showed up. I had done this race several years prior with my dad. He ended up smoking me in that race. I don't like to admit that, seeing as he is nearly 36 years older than I am...ha! Anyway, back to last year's race. I vowed to start out slow. Hell, I was gonna run the entire two mile race SLOW. I was competing against myself. I wasn't out to win. The gun sounded and I was off. My friend and I stayed together for only a few minutes. It was hard. Probably because of the weather. I think it had already reached 80 degrees by the time the race started at 8 am. 80? Are you kidding? Plus, it was humid. I felt like I could barely take a good breath in. I was not starting out well. I made it to the first mile and grabbed a cup of water and gulped it down. I had to stop and walk. I felt terrible for doing this, but I had no other choice. My whole body hurt. After a few blocks, I started running again. I could barely see because the sweat was falling off my forehead and into my eyes faster than I could wipe it away. Had I gone crazy? The last four blocks were the worst. But only physically. Mentally speaking, that was when I kicked it into high gear. There were hundreds of people cheering on the runners. I saw so many people that I knew and they were yelling my name and encouraging me to fun harder, faster. I needed that extra push to get me to the finish line. Crossing that line was a HUGE accomplishment for this chubby girl. I had done it! Granted, my entire body felt like it was on fire...where was the hose when I needed it?
So, I didn't break any records. You know what? I proved to myself that I could do it. I didn't give up. I ended up with a time of 24:25...this was big in my book! Did I just run two 12 minute miles? You've got that right! I even beat some people...yahoo! Okay, so most of the people I beat were walkers...who cares! I was out there on a hot day, running through the beer garden (yes, you could still smell the beer!) proving to myself that I can do anything. I felt high on life after it was over. However, my legs felt like Jello. My head hurt. My knees ached. But, I had done it. And, I rewarded myself with a nap.
If you think you know how this story ends up, you're wrong. I suddenly stopped running. I could make up excuse after excuse as to the cause, but I won't. I guess life just got in the way. I got lazy. I was mad at myself. I've never felt better than I did when I was running. Sure, I kind of wanted to die during some of my training but, overall, I felt amazing. I had no trouble sleeping. I had more energy. All in all, I felt like I could do anything. Then, I lost that feeling. I lost the drive to hit the pavement and continue. For some silly reason, I felt like a failure. I put in a lot of time and sweat, bought a pair of pretty expensive shoes...and now? Well, those shoes were doing nothing but sitting on the floor of my bedroom. Sure, I continued to go to the gym, but I never ran. Sad, but true.
Fast-forward to today. It was a beautiful day in Southern Indiana. I decided to go for a walk. Make that a run/walk. I don't know what happened, but I found the will and the strength to run. I started running about halfway up Mozart. Now, I knew I was nuts! Why would I start on a hill? Well, I did. I would start at a telephone pole and try and run to the next one. Or, I'd choose a mailbox and run to the next one. I ran a few blocks, walked a few blocks. That lasted from halfway up Mozart to my car in front of the gym on Main St. I felt incredible. I was slow. But, I was running! How could this be? After months of nothing, I was doing it again. I had to actually visualize someone chasing me...that was the only way I made it. I kept telling myself that I had to keep running because some scary person was behind me chasing me. A little weird, I know. Hey, it kept me going! That crazy idea got me to my car. And, that crazy idea will keep me going. At the slow rate I go, maybe the only person capable of catching me would be a 90 year-old. I welcome the challenge of "granny" trying to get me :)
Running has taught me a few lessons. First, I CAN do anything I want. I won't ever win any medals, but I've won just knowing that I get out there and prove myself wrong on a daily basis. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to most everything about my life. Never again. I can really do anything I set my mind to...and, I WILL. I've also learned that it takes a lot of strength, courage and a great pair of shoes to accomplish what you want. I am a strong person. I have to have faith in my body to keep me going. I have manly legs. So what? They are strong and will continue to get me here, there and everywhere.
If you've ever thought about running, GO FOR IT! Get out there, try something new and prove to yourself that you can do it. Because, deep down, you know you can. I'm living proof that anyone can run. Believe me, if me and my jiggly fat can get out there, you can, too! If you're waiting for the right time, there isn't one. Start tomorrow. Even if you have to run one block, walk one block. Hey, we all have to start somewhere!
I have always loved the following quote and it seemed quite fitting in this blog:
"THE RACE IS NOT ALWAYS TO THE SWIFT, BUT TO THOSE WHO KEEP ON RUNNING". I'm gonna keep on running. Sometimes, I'll be running on empty. I'm gonna keep on running. Sometimes, I'll be running down a dream. I'm still gonna keep on running. Maybe I'll take the money and run. You know what? I'm gonna keep on running. Running, running, running.
One word of advice? Don't run behind me. I tend to 'break wind" from time to time :)
Just call me Forrest.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Well, poop...
I've heard the expression, "write what you know". If that's the case, here goes nothing...
In fourth grade, I thought I knew it all. Why would any eleven year-old feel any other way? Two BIG things happened that year. The first? We had the opportunity to take live baby chicks home. What a fabulous idea for someone that knew NOTHING about chickens. Sure, I knew they hatched eggs. But, honestly, I was still trying to figure out which came first. So, this was new territory for me. Moral of this story? I think my poor "chicken little" didn't survive very long after the ride home. To this day, I'm not a big, big fan of poultry. Can you blame me? Let's now talk about the second big thing that year. A child's worst nightmare. Maybe mankind's worst nightmare. CONSTIPATION. I choose to capitalize the entire word for many reasons. If you've ever been "stopped up", then you'd know it's a terrible and, quite traumatizing, experience. It started on a Sunday. I will never forget watching "Wheel of Fortune" (I think that's where I honed my spelling skills...thanks, Pat Sajak!) while curled up in the fetal position on the floor. My tummy hurt. At first, I just chalked it up to my love for food. Yes, I had the love for food way back in the day. Surely, I had just eaten too much. I was, after all, a little on the chubby side. But, this belly ache lasted long beyond my food not digesting properly. No, these pains were real. And, I felt them down deep. In the depths of my chubby soul.
When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't stand it. My stomach hurt and I was about to tell mom and dad there was NO WAY I was going to school. My big belly and I were running this show now, and there wasn't anything anyone could do about it. In fact, I missed that entire week of school. But, I'll get to that later. A few days went by and still no results. At this point (a few details have escaped me) it was time for medical intervention. So, we drove to Welborn Baptist Hospital in Evansville to my pediatrician. I can't remember much of that visit because I was concentrating so much on my intense abdominal pain. However, I vividly remember what happened after we got home. That's when the "fun" began. Yes, folks. Something I hope not many of you have to suffer through...THE DREADED ENEMA :)
Okay, so having something shoved in your rectum at such a young age was not necessarily my idea of a good time. If it didn't involve Barbie and Ken or my Nintendo, then I wanted NO part of it. But, since I always did what I was told (even back then!), I kindly bent over so mom could torture me. After what felt like hours, the job was done. So, I plopped my booty on the toilet...and, waited. Nothing. Five minutes later, still nothing. At this point, I had reverted to the grunting. Full-blown grunting, in which beads of sweat started dripping off my forehead. I was more than ready to "drop the kids off at the porcelain bank", so to speak, but apparently they were still napping and never got that memo. How rude!
You name it, I tried it. After the enema failed, a heating pad soon followed. It helped the pain, so I was thankful for it. I vaguely remember drinking what seemed to be a gallon of mineral oil. Please don't ever drink it. I don't care who tells you to or how much he or she is willing to pay you. Next to tea and coffee, it might be THE most vile liquid anyone could drink. By Thursday, I think we may have resorted to giving the "trusty" enema another go. And, you know what? Success! What a relief! That was probably the first time I looked back down to actually see the end result. I was proud and I was gonna see what all the week's efforts had produced. I felt like I had won the lottery. It was a miracle!
It was a good thing that I finally had a bowel movement. Because, there was a birthday party to get to and I couldn't possibly miss that! My friend, Katie, was having a slumber party at her house that weekend and I was bound and determined to make it. After all, I had finally "taken a dump". I was ready to conquer the world, or at least the world according to a bunch of silly little fourth grade girls. And, how was I gonna miss the chance to stuff myself with junk food? I knew that might cause me to become "plugged up" again, but I was willing to take my chances. After all, there were Cheetos involved. For once, I was gonna live on the edge. Why not? Because, if you're not livin' on the edge, then you're takin' up too much room :)
From that day on, I vowed that I would NEVER go one day without "poppin' a squat" and attempting to have a bowel movement. For the most part, I have succeeded with this vow I made so long ago. If you've ever been constipated, then you'll firmly agree with me on this. I used to find it so silly when my elderly patients became obsessed with "moving their bowels", as they called it. Well, now it all makes sense. Would I give myself an enema again? You bet. Would I drink mineral oil again? Maybe. Would I drink prune juice? If it meant never going another week constipated, then I say BRING IT ON.
Even at the tender age of 11, I was "full of shit". My advice? If you have to become obsessed with anything, make it your bowels. You won't regret it. And, your bowels will thank you!
In fourth grade, I thought I knew it all. Why would any eleven year-old feel any other way? Two BIG things happened that year. The first? We had the opportunity to take live baby chicks home. What a fabulous idea for someone that knew NOTHING about chickens. Sure, I knew they hatched eggs. But, honestly, I was still trying to figure out which came first. So, this was new territory for me. Moral of this story? I think my poor "chicken little" didn't survive very long after the ride home. To this day, I'm not a big, big fan of poultry. Can you blame me? Let's now talk about the second big thing that year. A child's worst nightmare. Maybe mankind's worst nightmare. CONSTIPATION. I choose to capitalize the entire word for many reasons. If you've ever been "stopped up", then you'd know it's a terrible and, quite traumatizing, experience. It started on a Sunday. I will never forget watching "Wheel of Fortune" (I think that's where I honed my spelling skills...thanks, Pat Sajak!) while curled up in the fetal position on the floor. My tummy hurt. At first, I just chalked it up to my love for food. Yes, I had the love for food way back in the day. Surely, I had just eaten too much. I was, after all, a little on the chubby side. But, this belly ache lasted long beyond my food not digesting properly. No, these pains were real. And, I felt them down deep. In the depths of my chubby soul.
When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't stand it. My stomach hurt and I was about to tell mom and dad there was NO WAY I was going to school. My big belly and I were running this show now, and there wasn't anything anyone could do about it. In fact, I missed that entire week of school. But, I'll get to that later. A few days went by and still no results. At this point (a few details have escaped me) it was time for medical intervention. So, we drove to Welborn Baptist Hospital in Evansville to my pediatrician. I can't remember much of that visit because I was concentrating so much on my intense abdominal pain. However, I vividly remember what happened after we got home. That's when the "fun" began. Yes, folks. Something I hope not many of you have to suffer through...THE DREADED ENEMA :)
Okay, so having something shoved in your rectum at such a young age was not necessarily my idea of a good time. If it didn't involve Barbie and Ken or my Nintendo, then I wanted NO part of it. But, since I always did what I was told (even back then!), I kindly bent over so mom could torture me. After what felt like hours, the job was done. So, I plopped my booty on the toilet...and, waited. Nothing. Five minutes later, still nothing. At this point, I had reverted to the grunting. Full-blown grunting, in which beads of sweat started dripping off my forehead. I was more than ready to "drop the kids off at the porcelain bank", so to speak, but apparently they were still napping and never got that memo. How rude!
You name it, I tried it. After the enema failed, a heating pad soon followed. It helped the pain, so I was thankful for it. I vaguely remember drinking what seemed to be a gallon of mineral oil. Please don't ever drink it. I don't care who tells you to or how much he or she is willing to pay you. Next to tea and coffee, it might be THE most vile liquid anyone could drink. By Thursday, I think we may have resorted to giving the "trusty" enema another go. And, you know what? Success! What a relief! That was probably the first time I looked back down to actually see the end result. I was proud and I was gonna see what all the week's efforts had produced. I felt like I had won the lottery. It was a miracle!
It was a good thing that I finally had a bowel movement. Because, there was a birthday party to get to and I couldn't possibly miss that! My friend, Katie, was having a slumber party at her house that weekend and I was bound and determined to make it. After all, I had finally "taken a dump". I was ready to conquer the world, or at least the world according to a bunch of silly little fourth grade girls. And, how was I gonna miss the chance to stuff myself with junk food? I knew that might cause me to become "plugged up" again, but I was willing to take my chances. After all, there were Cheetos involved. For once, I was gonna live on the edge. Why not? Because, if you're not livin' on the edge, then you're takin' up too much room :)
From that day on, I vowed that I would NEVER go one day without "poppin' a squat" and attempting to have a bowel movement. For the most part, I have succeeded with this vow I made so long ago. If you've ever been constipated, then you'll firmly agree with me on this. I used to find it so silly when my elderly patients became obsessed with "moving their bowels", as they called it. Well, now it all makes sense. Would I give myself an enema again? You bet. Would I drink mineral oil again? Maybe. Would I drink prune juice? If it meant never going another week constipated, then I say BRING IT ON.
Even at the tender age of 11, I was "full of shit". My advice? If you have to become obsessed with anything, make it your bowels. You won't regret it. And, your bowels will thank you!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
What You Give Is What You Get :)
So, I'm not a huge fan of reading. Before you start with the jokes, let me say this...YES, I do know how to read. I just don't have a huge passion for it. Which is why, before leaving work last Friday, I probably did the big "eye roll" when I was told I had to read a few books. Because I am a supervisor. A wave of nausea came over me. Seriously? I randomly have six days off in a row and now I have to spend part of it reading? For work, no less. Well, this little break wasn't starting off well.
Fast forward to today. Crap, I had completely forgotten about my reading assignment. How silly would I look if I showed up to work tomorrow and had not even opened it. So, this morning, after giving myself a pep talk, I started reading. Now, let me explain something. This book is actually work-related. It's entitled "Inspired Nurse". Once again, was God watching out for me? I can't lie when I say I've been uninspired in my career for the past several months. Nursing just didn't feel all that "inspiring" to me anymore. I've had days where I really questioned why I even started down this road in the first place. Nursing would be really great, if not for all the other "stuff". There's A LOT you don't learn in nursing school. At any rate, I've been in a nursing slump for a while. And, I guess this was my way out. Anyway, I kept reading. And, reading. And, reading. Needless to say, I read the entire book today. That's a HUGE accomplishment for me. A nurse wrote the book. Rich Bluni, RN, as a matter of fact. I'd give anything to meet this man. The stories in this book left me happy, joyous, inspired, gracious, humbled, just to name a few. I even shed a few tears. I'm really going to have to invest in more tissues. Maybe, I just need to invest some stock in Kleenex.
I could go on and on about this book, but I won't. Most of you "non-nurses" probably wouldn't care all that much. I grumbled when faced with the fact that I had to read this book. Boy, I wish I would've known better! In one chapter, he talks about "looking for reasons to be inspired". Basically, what he says is the that what we manifest into our life becomes our reality where inspiration is concerned. If you look for inspiration, inspiration will find you. Sort of like the "do unto others" motto we've all heard millions of times.
WOW. I think I finally get what it means to be a nurse. Maybe, more importantly, what it means to be a person. A person that is good. A person that inspires. Sure, I can inspire the people that I take care of when I work, but I don't feel like that necessarily flows over to my personal life. I sometimes have heard about a so-called "nursing face". Get to work, leave your problems at the door and just take care of your patients. They are sick. They are not at their best and they certainly DON'T deserve your irritation that you might have been running late because of traffic. Or, maybe you got pulled over on the way to these patients. So what! Suck it up, drop the "baggage" at the front door and remember why you chose this profession in the first place. BECAUSE YOU WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF SOMEONE BESIDES YOURSELF. After all, it's not even about us nurses. If we didn't have patients, then we wouldn't have a job. And, I don't know about you, but I don't want to live on the street with no money. I like to shop.
Maybe we could all start living with a "nursing face". What happened to genuine kindness and respect? I'm not asking you to "fake it". I'm talking about being more appreciative of life. So, you might not have the greatest job, nicest car, biggest house. At least you have a job, car, and house to call your own. Are you able to pay your bills and eat every day? I think the answer is yes. Are you relatively healthy? Most of us are. Some of us aren't. Be grateful for each day that you spend outside the place that pays me and most other nurses.
I suppose I should read this and take some of my own advice. It's nothing I haven't heard before. Truthfully, I think most of us learned this a LONG time ago. We just get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, we forget to slow down and breath. I have A LOT I need to work on to better myself. First of all, I need much more patience. Not to be confused with "patients", but they are the reason I have a job...ha! I am so impatient...with everything and everyone. I want what I want when I want it. It's how I've always lived. So what if people don't like it (or so I used to think). Maybe I need to stop and "just breath". It might take more time than I want, but I'll get there eventually. Until then, I'm still hoping that some smart person invents a "more patience" pill. There's a pill for everything else. Why not that?
I am much too hard on myself. I guess I am my own worst enemy. However, if I can be my own worst enemy, I can probably be my own best friend, too. And, THAT'S how I need to start thinking. None of us are perfect. It's when we stop and look at all the good in our lives that we see that our imperfections aren't all that bad. I know I'm clumsy. And, a smart mouth. And, not a fan of reading. Or, eating anything with mushrooms in it. I tend to let whatever I am thinking come out of my mouth in the wrong way. I also tend to think the worst in EVERY situation. It's much easier to think that way, then you won't be so let down in the end. WRONG way to think. I'm learning to be much more positive. I have the power to be anything I want. Go anywhere I want. So, I'm leaving that little "Negative Nancy" inside me at home. Nancy, go to your room. You're grounded...for the rest of MY life :)
When I first started nursing, I thought I knew it all. I have been proven wrong nearly each and every day since then. It's been one hell of an almost six-year journey. A few months ago, I hit a wall. I didn't want to have anything to do with this profession. My heart wasn't in it. I've always believed that life isn't a coincidence. I also believe that I was meant to read this book. At this time. I'm very grateful that someone's watching over me. Now, I know that I was born to do this. I was born to help people. In good times and in bad. Nurses see people at their VERY worst. What an incredible feeling knowing that I can make a small difference in the life of someone that I have had the privilege of caring for...and, that is why I do this. It's not about the money. It's not about the accolades. It's about the patient. It's something that I think MOST nurses need reminded of on a daily basis.
Sure, nursing is not "puppy dogs and rainbows" all the time. In fact, some days are hard. Really hard. I will never forget the first patient that died in my care. Could I do this for the next 30+ years? Unfortunately, death is always going to be a part of this job. Fortunately, it's not THE only part. For every patient that has died, there is a patient that does, in fact, get better. What a transformation seeing someone so very sick and so very well in a matter of days. And, to know that I might have had a small part in that...well, it's the icing on this great big cake of mine. Yes, I relate pretty much all I can to food. Probably something I love almost as much as nursing!
"YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE". The name of Zac Brown Band's new album. Also, a chapter in this book. It really is true. Not just in nursing, but in life. I don't know about you, but I'm gonna stop and smell the roses more. I'm gonna be just a little more patient. I'm gonna see the good in people, no matter what. I'm gonna stop thinking it's all about me. I'm gonna stop trying to be perfect...at everything. Okay, so I might have a little bit of trouble with that last part! I can't help it...I am "type-A" all the way. I'm a work in progress...and, I think I'll get there.
If I'm lucky, I've got a lot of livin' yet to do. And, A LOT of people to care for and about. But, I'll be leaving the all-white uniform, cap and hosiery at home!
So, I'll leave you with this thought (if anyone actually reads this!) . What or who inspires you? What or who makes you get up each day and want to be a better person? I think you'd be surprised at the answer(s)! So, go on. Figure it out. Quit just "going through the motions" and start inspiring yourself and others around you.
It wouldn't be a typical "Emily Blog" without at least a little bit of "funny". So, I'll share this with you. When you think you're having a bad day, remember this. I have fallen down multiple times at work. I've spilled things all over my uniform and the uniforms of co-workers (BETADINE is NOT a toy!). I've also been in the process of taking care of someone and had the crotch of my pants rip wide open. No joke. People, like I've said many times before, I couldn't make this stuff up, even if I tried. But, maybe that's what I personally bring to this profession that is known as NURSING...a whole lot of laughs! Last time I checked, just because you're sick doesn't mean you don't know how to laugh until you sides hurts :)
Fast forward to today. Crap, I had completely forgotten about my reading assignment. How silly would I look if I showed up to work tomorrow and had not even opened it. So, this morning, after giving myself a pep talk, I started reading. Now, let me explain something. This book is actually work-related. It's entitled "Inspired Nurse". Once again, was God watching out for me? I can't lie when I say I've been uninspired in my career for the past several months. Nursing just didn't feel all that "inspiring" to me anymore. I've had days where I really questioned why I even started down this road in the first place. Nursing would be really great, if not for all the other "stuff". There's A LOT you don't learn in nursing school. At any rate, I've been in a nursing slump for a while. And, I guess this was my way out. Anyway, I kept reading. And, reading. And, reading. Needless to say, I read the entire book today. That's a HUGE accomplishment for me. A nurse wrote the book. Rich Bluni, RN, as a matter of fact. I'd give anything to meet this man. The stories in this book left me happy, joyous, inspired, gracious, humbled, just to name a few. I even shed a few tears. I'm really going to have to invest in more tissues. Maybe, I just need to invest some stock in Kleenex.
I could go on and on about this book, but I won't. Most of you "non-nurses" probably wouldn't care all that much. I grumbled when faced with the fact that I had to read this book. Boy, I wish I would've known better! In one chapter, he talks about "looking for reasons to be inspired". Basically, what he says is the that what we manifest into our life becomes our reality where inspiration is concerned. If you look for inspiration, inspiration will find you. Sort of like the "do unto others" motto we've all heard millions of times.
WOW. I think I finally get what it means to be a nurse. Maybe, more importantly, what it means to be a person. A person that is good. A person that inspires. Sure, I can inspire the people that I take care of when I work, but I don't feel like that necessarily flows over to my personal life. I sometimes have heard about a so-called "nursing face". Get to work, leave your problems at the door and just take care of your patients. They are sick. They are not at their best and they certainly DON'T deserve your irritation that you might have been running late because of traffic. Or, maybe you got pulled over on the way to these patients. So what! Suck it up, drop the "baggage" at the front door and remember why you chose this profession in the first place. BECAUSE YOU WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF SOMEONE BESIDES YOURSELF. After all, it's not even about us nurses. If we didn't have patients, then we wouldn't have a job. And, I don't know about you, but I don't want to live on the street with no money. I like to shop.
Maybe we could all start living with a "nursing face". What happened to genuine kindness and respect? I'm not asking you to "fake it". I'm talking about being more appreciative of life. So, you might not have the greatest job, nicest car, biggest house. At least you have a job, car, and house to call your own. Are you able to pay your bills and eat every day? I think the answer is yes. Are you relatively healthy? Most of us are. Some of us aren't. Be grateful for each day that you spend outside the place that pays me and most other nurses.
I suppose I should read this and take some of my own advice. It's nothing I haven't heard before. Truthfully, I think most of us learned this a LONG time ago. We just get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, we forget to slow down and breath. I have A LOT I need to work on to better myself. First of all, I need much more patience. Not to be confused with "patients", but they are the reason I have a job...ha! I am so impatient...with everything and everyone. I want what I want when I want it. It's how I've always lived. So what if people don't like it (or so I used to think). Maybe I need to stop and "just breath". It might take more time than I want, but I'll get there eventually. Until then, I'm still hoping that some smart person invents a "more patience" pill. There's a pill for everything else. Why not that?
I am much too hard on myself. I guess I am my own worst enemy. However, if I can be my own worst enemy, I can probably be my own best friend, too. And, THAT'S how I need to start thinking. None of us are perfect. It's when we stop and look at all the good in our lives that we see that our imperfections aren't all that bad. I know I'm clumsy. And, a smart mouth. And, not a fan of reading. Or, eating anything with mushrooms in it. I tend to let whatever I am thinking come out of my mouth in the wrong way. I also tend to think the worst in EVERY situation. It's much easier to think that way, then you won't be so let down in the end. WRONG way to think. I'm learning to be much more positive. I have the power to be anything I want. Go anywhere I want. So, I'm leaving that little "Negative Nancy" inside me at home. Nancy, go to your room. You're grounded...for the rest of MY life :)
When I first started nursing, I thought I knew it all. I have been proven wrong nearly each and every day since then. It's been one hell of an almost six-year journey. A few months ago, I hit a wall. I didn't want to have anything to do with this profession. My heart wasn't in it. I've always believed that life isn't a coincidence. I also believe that I was meant to read this book. At this time. I'm very grateful that someone's watching over me. Now, I know that I was born to do this. I was born to help people. In good times and in bad. Nurses see people at their VERY worst. What an incredible feeling knowing that I can make a small difference in the life of someone that I have had the privilege of caring for...and, that is why I do this. It's not about the money. It's not about the accolades. It's about the patient. It's something that I think MOST nurses need reminded of on a daily basis.
Sure, nursing is not "puppy dogs and rainbows" all the time. In fact, some days are hard. Really hard. I will never forget the first patient that died in my care. Could I do this for the next 30+ years? Unfortunately, death is always going to be a part of this job. Fortunately, it's not THE only part. For every patient that has died, there is a patient that does, in fact, get better. What a transformation seeing someone so very sick and so very well in a matter of days. And, to know that I might have had a small part in that...well, it's the icing on this great big cake of mine. Yes, I relate pretty much all I can to food. Probably something I love almost as much as nursing!
"YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE". The name of Zac Brown Band's new album. Also, a chapter in this book. It really is true. Not just in nursing, but in life. I don't know about you, but I'm gonna stop and smell the roses more. I'm gonna be just a little more patient. I'm gonna see the good in people, no matter what. I'm gonna stop thinking it's all about me. I'm gonna stop trying to be perfect...at everything. Okay, so I might have a little bit of trouble with that last part! I can't help it...I am "type-A" all the way. I'm a work in progress...and, I think I'll get there.
If I'm lucky, I've got a lot of livin' yet to do. And, A LOT of people to care for and about. But, I'll be leaving the all-white uniform, cap and hosiery at home!
So, I'll leave you with this thought (if anyone actually reads this!) . What or who inspires you? What or who makes you get up each day and want to be a better person? I think you'd be surprised at the answer(s)! So, go on. Figure it out. Quit just "going through the motions" and start inspiring yourself and others around you.
It wouldn't be a typical "Emily Blog" without at least a little bit of "funny". So, I'll share this with you. When you think you're having a bad day, remember this. I have fallen down multiple times at work. I've spilled things all over my uniform and the uniforms of co-workers (BETADINE is NOT a toy!). I've also been in the process of taking care of someone and had the crotch of my pants rip wide open. No joke. People, like I've said many times before, I couldn't make this stuff up, even if I tried. But, maybe that's what I personally bring to this profession that is known as NURSING...a whole lot of laughs! Last time I checked, just because you're sick doesn't mean you don't know how to laugh until you sides hurts :)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
If You Don't Know Where You're Going, You Might End Up Somewhere Else...
I took the title of this particular blog from Toby Keith's "Somewhere Else". And, just a warning, this blog will be a tribute to country music. Because it's amazing. And, because I love it so.
I'm in the middle of watching the "Academy of Country Music" Awards. In my opinion, it might just be THE best awards show on television. Mostly, because I said so. But, more importantly, because it's full of people that just "get it" lyrically. Country music has always been on my mind. Sometimes, shoved a little too far back! I rediscovered my love for this particular type of music a few years ago. What I had been listening to on the radio was getting old. If someone wasn't screaming into my ear via my car speakers, another someone was shouting "eff this" and "eff that". Not that I am above cussing (hello, have you ever met me?) I was just in a music funk. So, I jumped ship. Over to the cowboy hats. Over to the twang. Over to something I thought would change things up a bit.
My love for country has become much stronger over the last year. It's what I listen to on a regular basis. There are many reasons why country music just does it for me. Like I said before, country artists just "get it". They don't have to come out and be weird just for the sake of being weird. They don't have to dress up in fancy attire. Hell, most of them wear flannel shirts, Wranglers and steel-toed boots. They don't have to show off with their wardrobe. They leave that up to their voices. Some of THE best songs are country. And, there's a song for pretty much every occasion. You broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? There's a song for it. You lost your job? There's a song for it. You burned mac 'n' cheese in the microwave? Oh, maybe there's not a song for that. Don't laugh. I did that last week. Hey, my name's not Betty Crocker. I blame it on the microwave. Damn appliance.
There's definite "roots" in country music. And, if you haven't gotten a chance to experience the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, I suggest you do so...and, quick. I had the opportunity to see the "Zac Brown Band" perform there in December 2009. One of THE best experiences of my life. There's so much history in that place to fill up many books. Plus, the ZBB is one of my favorite groups, country or otherwise. Zac could sing me the phone book and I'd be happy. I vividly remember sitting in one of the church pews with tears running down my face when they sampled a song that would become one of today's biggest hits. And, that song would be "Colder Weather". Overall, an amazing opportunity that I will never forget. And, one that I shared proudly with one of my best friends, Beth Ann! I'll cherish that memory forever. How coincidental that they are singing on TV right as I am typing this story about them. Tissues, please! I've become a "softy" in my old age! Zac, you rock. If you ever get divorced, please look me up :)
Whatever your life experience, anyone can relate to part or all of most country songs. There are many ways to interpret a country song. Maybe, you are stuck in colder weather. Moral? Hop on a plane and get to that girl. Or, boy. Preferably somewhere really warm surrounded by water and lots of sand. Think about the house that built you. Moral? Never forget where you came from and learn from your past. Let it be a light to guide you to an even better future. If you wanna sail your vessel 'til the river runs dry, do it. You don't get a second chance at life, so you might as well do it big the first time around. Stand outside the fire. I double dog dare ya!
Sure, there are silly songs about trucks, tractors, drunks, etc...even those songs can somehow put a smile on my face.
As the title says, "if you don't know where you're going, you might end up somewhere else". How true this is. If you agree, check yes or no. George Strait would be so proud. If, while checking one of those, you fall down on your face, just roll the dice and have some faith. Because, after all, haven't we all gone just a little bit country? I have. And, I'm proud of it.
Now, it's late. And, I've gotta go ride on a big green tractor. Okay, so maybe that means I'm just gonna go crawl into bed. But, riding on that big, green tractor sure sounds a lot cooler. Or, perverted. Jason Aldean, I don't think you're talking about a piece of farm equipment. Not even a little bit. Not even at all :)
I'm in the middle of watching the "Academy of Country Music" Awards. In my opinion, it might just be THE best awards show on television. Mostly, because I said so. But, more importantly, because it's full of people that just "get it" lyrically. Country music has always been on my mind. Sometimes, shoved a little too far back! I rediscovered my love for this particular type of music a few years ago. What I had been listening to on the radio was getting old. If someone wasn't screaming into my ear via my car speakers, another someone was shouting "eff this" and "eff that". Not that I am above cussing (hello, have you ever met me?) I was just in a music funk. So, I jumped ship. Over to the cowboy hats. Over to the twang. Over to something I thought would change things up a bit.
My love for country has become much stronger over the last year. It's what I listen to on a regular basis. There are many reasons why country music just does it for me. Like I said before, country artists just "get it". They don't have to come out and be weird just for the sake of being weird. They don't have to dress up in fancy attire. Hell, most of them wear flannel shirts, Wranglers and steel-toed boots. They don't have to show off with their wardrobe. They leave that up to their voices. Some of THE best songs are country. And, there's a song for pretty much every occasion. You broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? There's a song for it. You lost your job? There's a song for it. You burned mac 'n' cheese in the microwave? Oh, maybe there's not a song for that. Don't laugh. I did that last week. Hey, my name's not Betty Crocker. I blame it on the microwave. Damn appliance.
There's definite "roots" in country music. And, if you haven't gotten a chance to experience the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, I suggest you do so...and, quick. I had the opportunity to see the "Zac Brown Band" perform there in December 2009. One of THE best experiences of my life. There's so much history in that place to fill up many books. Plus, the ZBB is one of my favorite groups, country or otherwise. Zac could sing me the phone book and I'd be happy. I vividly remember sitting in one of the church pews with tears running down my face when they sampled a song that would become one of today's biggest hits. And, that song would be "Colder Weather". Overall, an amazing opportunity that I will never forget. And, one that I shared proudly with one of my best friends, Beth Ann! I'll cherish that memory forever. How coincidental that they are singing on TV right as I am typing this story about them. Tissues, please! I've become a "softy" in my old age! Zac, you rock. If you ever get divorced, please look me up :)
Whatever your life experience, anyone can relate to part or all of most country songs. There are many ways to interpret a country song. Maybe, you are stuck in colder weather. Moral? Hop on a plane and get to that girl. Or, boy. Preferably somewhere really warm surrounded by water and lots of sand. Think about the house that built you. Moral? Never forget where you came from and learn from your past. Let it be a light to guide you to an even better future. If you wanna sail your vessel 'til the river runs dry, do it. You don't get a second chance at life, so you might as well do it big the first time around. Stand outside the fire. I double dog dare ya!
Sure, there are silly songs about trucks, tractors, drunks, etc...even those songs can somehow put a smile on my face.
As the title says, "if you don't know where you're going, you might end up somewhere else". How true this is. If you agree, check yes or no. George Strait would be so proud. If, while checking one of those, you fall down on your face, just roll the dice and have some faith. Because, after all, haven't we all gone just a little bit country? I have. And, I'm proud of it.
Now, it's late. And, I've gotta go ride on a big green tractor. Okay, so maybe that means I'm just gonna go crawl into bed. But, riding on that big, green tractor sure sounds a lot cooler. Or, perverted. Jason Aldean, I don't think you're talking about a piece of farm equipment. Not even a little bit. Not even at all :)
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Don't We All Look The Same Naked?
If I really thought about every silly thing I've said and/or done, I think I could write a book. Perhaps, it's time to share some of the rather funny stories of my past.
I remember this one time, when I was in elementary school, a friend and I were completely obsessed with New Kids on the Block, or NKOTB, as they were referred to by all of the "die hard" fans. I had this brilliant idea that we were gonna call a hotline completely devoted to all things NKOTB. If you were lucky, you might actually get to talk to the "kid" of your dreams, or so our naive brains thought. I was ready. My favorite was Jordan. I didn't quite get how a guy could get his voice to go in the range that maybe only poodles could understand and decipher but, nonetheless, he was tops in my book. So, I dialed. Numerous times. Obviously, the voices we heard were actually a recording and not the real people. But, we were in hog heaven. So much so, I kept dialing. And, dialing. And, dialing. Little did I know (I would only find out weeks later when my poor parents got the phone bill) I made a very COSTLY mistake. Oops. As it turned out, the number actually started with a 1-900 and NOT a 1-800. My bad. Once you dial what seemed like ninety times, you forget that it might actually cost. Back then, it might have only been $1.99 per call. At any rate, I never once got to talk to the New Kids again. Darn.
I also remember this one time, when I about five, I thought it might be a good idea to strip naked and run outside. Never mind that half the men on the block were right across the street. I didn't care. I'll never know why I chose to run out in my "birthday suit". All I know is that I ran out, started waving and somehow got all of their attention. Besides, don't we all look the same naked? In the eyes of a wee little one, I guess so.
Then, I remember picture day in second grade. I wore a dress. A really heinous one, to be exact. I looked like a Pilgrim. Or, someone straight out of "Little House on the Prairie". My Smurfette glasses didn't help matters. Neither did my haircut. I had gone to the bathroom that day. I guess I should've asked someone how to go to the bathroom in a dress. Yes, I got in the stall, and forgot that I could simply pull the dress up, drop my drawers and pee. So, what did I do? Yep, I took the whole damn dress off. To this day, my second-grade teacher and I still get quite a laugh out of that little incident in the bathroom. Hey, at least I wasn't "smokin' in the boys room".
Fast-forward to Jr. High. I remember this one time, in English class. We were talking about some book we were reading (parts of this story have left my brain) and someone had commented, "Well, maybe he should just amputate it." Me, trying to look all smart and sophisticated yelled out, "Nah, maybe he should just cut it off." I was serious. I didn't quite get why everyone was looking at me and laughing. Then, I realized what was going on. Duh, that's the same thing. My bad.
A recent incident involved work. Most notably falling at work. Several months ago, I was assessing a patient. After asking if there was anything I could do before I left, I started to walk backwards. Don't ever do this. Especially if you are clumsy. Like me. As I started to turn around, my feet got caught up in the patient's bed alarm and down I went. In a blaze of glory. At that point, my legs were up in the air facing the patient. And, my face was as red as my scrub top. I vividly remember this patient laughing hysterically. Not one of my finer moments. "Hi, my name is Emily, and I'll be your nurse tonight. I'm very uncoordinated, but that shouldn't worry you one bit. Unless, of course, I have a needle in my hand".
At times, I wish I wasn't so clumsy. Or, random. Or, silly. I wish I could walk a straight line without wondering if and when I'll take a tumble. I wish I could always say and do the right thing. Then I think that my clumsiness, my silliness, my randomness is what makes me ME. And, that is mighty fine.
Thankfully, I've gotten rid of those "not-so-cool" Smurfette glasses in exchange for some really cool purple specs. I no longer wear dresses from the 1850's. My love for NKOTB has faded. And, I've learned to put clothes on before I leave the house. You should all be thankful for that last part. However, don't we all look the same naked? My five-year-old self seems to think so. Embrace your nakedness and show off that pretty birthday suit every once in a while. In the privacy of your own bedroom, of course :)
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